The Week of No Work

I have had the paradoxical week in which I am completely over-fucking-whelmed and unable to work.  Perhaps that is not paradoxical.  Perhaps that is a simple case of cause and effect.  Here's a recap:

Monday: work on research for an hour, interview job candidate, deal with crisis management for admin job (drama! drama! drama!), candidate's job talk, teach class, deal with kids, which included cooking with LG (this was pretty good), night time routine

Tuesday: breakfast with job candidate, a decent chunk of time on research (I think? hard to remember), night routine, including baths for kids and X-Files for me; Tuesday was the highlight of the week

Wednesday: breakfast with different job candidate, interview with job candidate, come out from interview to noise from admin assistant that schools are getting out early (did I mention the foot of snow?), spend some time on crisis management, including emailing/texting my daughter to tell her where to go and what to do, eventually look out my window and decide to cancel class (the city was in a state of 'emergency' and the state govt shut down--why the fuck did the university not close?), decide to cancel an event for Thursday, too (did I mention the foot of snow?)

Thursday: snow day for LG, snow day for Tiny Boy, cranky cranky cranky mama; by 9:00 am Tiny Boy had spilled paint all over the living room and cut the whiskers off IVF Kitten; spent an hour shoveling, brief sledding trip, made macaroni, LG left to hang with the big kids, I enforced quiet time, followed by a lot of screen time and managed to read for Monday's class, (did I mention my usual Sunday babysitter cancelled?  working on a sub), finally have a reasonably nice evening only to learn LG HAS NO SCHOOL TOMORROW EITHER, FOR NO DISCERNIBLE REASON.  WTF?

Friday: I need to take Tiny Boy to a field trip (assuming he has school, because I bailed on the last one due to the job candidates) and then I'm skipping out on our departmental symposium because (a) I have literally no interest in the speakers and would only go to support my colleagues, (b) I haven't had more two consecutive hours in which to work since Tuesday, and (c) I don't see the possibility of getting anything done on Saturday (LG has a debate tournament) or Sunday (we have breakfast guests, followed by ice skating lessons).

Update in the morning:  So that fizzled out, mostly because I was interrupted by LG's nighttime chat session.  But really I think one of the major problems here wasn't lack of time--though there was a lack of time--but lack of routine.  All the good mojo I had going about breakfast and writing and reading in the morning, and exercise later in the day....none of it happened this week.  Right now (it's 7:45 am on Friday, he's watching TV, and she's asleep; we have an hour before we need to leave for the field trip.  I've written something (other than these few sentences), I'm going to read something, and then get on with the day.  Important, not urgent, yeah.

Sleep Clinic Graduation Day!

It seems Tiny Boy has graduated from regular checkups at the sleep clinic!  He stays on flinstones with iron, I can try weaning him from melatonin after time change (but if it doesn't work, no worries about keeping him on it, apparently), and call for follow up if things go downhill.  No more blood tests, sleep studies, or anything else.  As is ALWAYS the case when we go there, he had a (rare) horrible night last night, which means I'm going on 2 hrs of sleep (from 12:30-2:30--oy).  Which is why I'm typing this now, instead of plowing my way through work.  We did manage to squeeze in a trip to the deli-of-overpriced-hotdogs-and-superb-coffee--I mean, it WAS lunchtime--before I drove him back to school.  (Note to every parent in the universe:  2:00 pm dropoffs are massively confusing for preschoolers, even with a lot of explanation.  Avoid if at all possible.)

I'm not sure why I'm writing this exactly, other than as a PSA:  sometimes kids really do have sleep problems that no amount of Ferberizing (or any other sleep method) will solve.  I can't even really think what my life would be like right now if I hadn't fought so hard to get him seen by a specialist (well, a team of specialists); we have a family friend who is fighting this battle for her *11-year-old* who also has low iron.  I don't think the issue is as debilitating as it was for Tiny Boy and me...but still.  Since June I have gone from a child who woke 4-5 times per night to a child who on a BAD night wakes once for 30-40 minutes max.  About a third of the time, he sleeps straight through without a peep; the other third to half the time, he calls me once and immediately resettles (I'm not sure he's actually awake). I have time with LG in the evenings.  And I'm sleeping, mostly, just under 8 hrs per night, which is still a tad low for me but totally livable (I do notice a huge difference if I can sleep 8.5 instead of 7.5).

So yay.

One Wish Granted (Redux)

This feels like February 2011 all over again (well, minus the donor egg IVF cycle!).  We have a zillion job candidates parading through the department, I'm completely overwhelmed with the work I need to do, LG's getting in trouble in school...and I got a big university grant to cover two classes next year.  A-men.

More later.  I need to go deal with sixth grade math.

Divide and Conquer

Today has been a (rare) lovely Saturday.  I attribute most of that to the divide-and-conquer approach to the day.  This is not something that happens easily in a single parent household, for fairly obvious reasons.  I suspect it will happen increasingly frequently as both kids age, though.  Here's a rundown:

6:15 am--Tiny Boy is awake; although he calls me approximately 65 times, he does stay in his bed until the bunny clock tells him it's wake up time
7:00--Tiny Boy watches an episode of Dinosaur Train in my bed (usually I'd stick him in front of the TV, but LG and company were still sleeping)
7:30ish--Tiny Boy and I feed cats; I have coffee; make waffled french toast and bacon for girls who are still sleeping; putz around the house until girls are picked up (LG's birthday sleepover)
9:45--take Tiny Boy to gymnastics; LG stays home; I read in the balcony observation area
11:00--quick library stop (more books!)
11:30--I don't exactly remember what happens at this point, other than more putzing around the house and the eating of lunch; I know I read to Tiny Boy for a few minutes and we cleaned up some of the sleepover mess
1:30--take LG to The Sound of Music; Tiny Boy stays with a babysitter
5:15--LG and I return from the show; Tiny Boy and I go out for Ethopian food; LG stays home to "nap" (I'd assume there was a lot of screen time in here)
6:45--home; kids eat leftover birthday cake; begin Tiny Boy's bedtime rituals
8:00--sleeping boy; type this

I will now do something with LG for an hour (I'd like to work on the puzzle; she will probably want to watch Gilmore Girls or one of her youtube things which I don't understand).  By 9:15 I will say good night to her and read stuff (currently Rebecca Solnit's Faraway Nearby) and watch Mozart in the Jungle.

Tomorrow will be much more time spent together, which will likely result in some familial discord.  Monday will be even dicier, as I have to work and have exactly two hours of paid childcare.  So for now I'll take what I can get...

Mid-Week Musings

• I woke up this morning with the one-sided congestion and pulsing in my ear that means a migraine is coming.  I took the kids to school and took Imitrex.  The day has sort of been fucked.  I have not really left my bed.
• But I have gotten some things done.  Not all were slated for today, and not everything slated for today has been done.  A good trade-off I think.
• When asked how LG likes middle school I've been replying "she loves it!"  But apparently there is a new issue (an old issue?) with her math teacher that is leading to HIGH DRAMA. It's hard for me to gauge how much of this is real and how much is perception, but LG's using words like "yelled at" and "humiliated" to describe her experience.  I emailed the teacher. We'll see what she says.  Next step is emailing the principal, and a chat with the social worker.  I am having unpleasant flashbacks to third grade.
• A legit gifted program would be so helpful.
• I feel like there should be guidelines on how faculty deal with email.  Right now I'm spending about 30 minutes per day total on email.  I'm an administrator.  I get a fuckload of email.  With few exceptions, I still manage to have it processed within 24 hours.  I really don't get (a) why I have colleagues who are on email ALL THE TIME or (b) check email so rarely it's useless.  
•  LG comes home in 50 minutes.  Must prepare for the convo.

Burger King Is Good For Kids and Grown-Ups (Part II)

Long time readers might recall that (circa the trying times of 2009-2010) LG informed me that "Burger King is good for kids and grown ups."  Kids, she asserted, can play in the play structure while grown ups can work on their computers.  Win win.  Although I was not and will never be a Burger King kind of mama when it comes to restaurant choices, it occurred to me that Tiny Boy is now old enough to climb the play structure ON HIS OWN, and I consider the purchasing of a juice box and a small coffee a sort of entrance fee.  So we're at the BK while LG is at home practicing the violin which, while she's actually quite talented for a first-year violinist, makes me INSANE from noise-production in a very confined space.  He's run amok.  I've spent some time on student writing. Win-win-win.

And now I must get back to the papers...

Random Bullets While LG Is Showering (a 5-minute-post)

• On the technology:  I bought LG and I both Tracfone "smartphones," for which I have paid the minimum $20/3 months.   I've made it very clear it's not for long conversation.  Or real internet use. Just emergencies and WiFi on occasion.  It has not changed my world.  All it's done is prove to me how much I hate phones and the cultures surrounding phones.  You will never ever catch me checking my email on it.  But the Poetry Foundation has a cool app.
• I love love love my students this semester.  It's the kind of class that makes me think I might have the best job in the world.
• I'm reading Anne Marie Slaughter's book.  And other than the fact that it's completely heteronormative, I think it's super smart.
• I'm also reading Rebecca Solnit's The Faraway Nearby and, for class, Robin Coste Lewis's Voyage of the Sable Venus.
• I read Josh Davis's Two Awesome Hours yesterday (okay, read isn't the right verb) in less than two hours, and while much of what it had to say was completely obvious to me, I really like his point about decision points between tasks and making the conscious choice to tell yourself "I'm deciding to do X."
• I made the easiest ever chicken curry the other day.  And while it is far from authentic, it had the flavor profile I was going for and made me very happy.  LG has taken leftovers for lunch two days running.
• Oh yeah, and LG is taking the SAT next month because she wants to apply to a gifted program run out of my department.  She's not quite twelve.  How is this POSSIBLE?!

(time's up!)

An Update on All the Plans (A 5-Minute-Post)

I'm feeling less overwhelmed than I was about a month ago, largely I think because there's a lull in committee work.  And I turned in my annual review materials (which took about the equivalent of a whole work day to fit in).  And we're down one major event.

I am frankly in denial about Feb 10-20, which includes, among other things, a child's birthday, a sleepover, a reading/workshop thing, a trip to see The Sound of Music, and President's Day which means MINIMAL CHILDCARE.  Plus probably some on campus interviews for that search committee.  But like I said, denial.

*

Here's where I am in terms of all the spectacular plans for 2016:

1. The plan to lose 5 pounds:  This is a moving target.  My weight went up around the holidays and then went back down.  But that was still higher than I'm comfortable with.  I am now eating salads every day for lunch, only letting myself have sweet things in the evening, and no sugar in any beverage other than morning coffee.  These changes are minimal.  But really at this point I only want to lose another 2-4 pounds total.  So minimal is fine.

2. The plan to exercise every day:  this has not happened, mostly because I got sick (ongoing) and didn't want to leave my bed, much less take a long walk.  Although I had a rocky start, I'm sticking with YogaGlo, though.  I don't know exactly why, other than the fact that I've paid for it, that I'm more likely to do even 5 minutes of yoga if I get to follow a teacher vs. coming up with it on my own.  But it's making me accountable in a small way.  I also realized it's helpful for me to have different kinds of exercise (walking, yoga, dance) for different kinds of days.  I need to do something about this realization.

[okay, that was 5 minutes....continued roughly 7 hours later]

3. The plan to spend quality time with the kids:  A work in progress, thwarted by them more than me (i.e. LG doesn't get her stuff done so our time is cut short).  But I do read to Tiny Boy every morning, and LG and I have been doing 1000-piece puzzles (we're on the third, with one repeat).  I think one day per week (Thursdays?) I'm going to start taking him for a bagel on the way to school.

4. The plan to read in the morning:  yes!  Now instead of opening my browser while I drink my coffee, I read.  Mostly poems.  Some memoir-type nonfiction.  Overall this has been a great switch for my morning routine.

5. The plan to limit email:  yes!  While I have gotten derailed on a few occasions (i.e. emailing back and forth with my former diss director about a project) I have mostly limited email to a couple times per day.  I could be even more regimented about this.

I feel like there's another plan in the works, but I'm not remembering what it is at the moment.  Oh, next step: fine-tuning my after-LG-goes-to-bed time.  Theoretically I read and then watch a short something on Netflix and go to bed.  In practical terms I am starting to watch multiple somethings before getting sleepy, which I think has to do with the timing of taking Lunesta (it doesn't hit me as fast as it used to) as well as being generally more well rested.  And that's a good thing indeed.