My kids suck at self-soothing.
At eight, LG still hasn't figured out how to calm herself to fall asleep. I mean, eventually she falls asleep, but generally not before 10:00 unless she uses a sucking apparatus, shall we say. We've been working on this and working on this and working on this.
And then there's Tiny Boy, who requires nursing/rocking/music/all kinds of maternal intervention to fall asleep. Developmentally I know he's just reaching the stage when self-soothing becomes possible. Not sure how I'm going to handle "sleep training," so to speak. I am not a CIO girl, but I also know that I've got to do something to get him into his crib for naps and the early part of the night. (LG did manage this task easily at his age) This morning he woke around 5:00 and was chattering away. I changed his diaper, nursed him. Still chattering. So I just put him down in the bed and let him kick and squirm and eventually I realized he was asleep with absolutely no help from me (other than me being in the bed too).
Right now he's in the crib--I'm in the office, which you access through my bedroom--and just starting to fuss. I put him there after 20 minutes of rocking didn't do anything to get him to sleep, and he was obviously tired.I'm not going to let him get massively upset, but I am wondering what he'll do.
*
10 minutes later: Well, he sobbed, so I milked him, as we say around these parts, and how he's asleep. For the next 35 minutes if I'm lucky. Argh.
I'm not sure if babies (or children) NEED to self-soothe... Have you considered putting Tiny Boy in a wrap or sling for his daytime naps? That's what I usually do and I can get a lot of work done with a baby on my back. If he's not sleeping very deep I'll put my laptop on the counter and work while standing so I can move a little to have him stay asleep.
ReplyDeleteTheoretically I agree with you. But in practical terms, yeah, at some point they really do, unless you can soothe them to sleep *every* time they wake (and with Tiny Boy, that can be every 40 minutes ALL NIGHT long on bad nights, because he doesn't know how to get himself back to sleep). Also doesn't work with childcare settings; Tiny Boy's babysitters have a really difficult time getting him down unless I'm there to nurse him, and even that's no guarantee.
ReplyDeleteI did do the carrier thing when he was smaller. He's big enough now that I really can't wear him for as long as a nap should be...
I probably fall on the "really mean my child is going to hate me when he is older" side of the spectrum, but after 5 months, I just kind of let Ben work it out in his crib for up to 45 minutes. And we never co-slept, so we didn't have to change from that. I just though that it would be hard to co sleep sometimes and then be in crib others. But I do think that a lot of it is temperament, and so despite my experience, no telling what TB really will prefer. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI know a lot of kids, LG included, who could move easily from napping and going to sleep in the crib to moving to parent's bed later at night. I hope we can repeat that.
ReplyDeleteWe have a 20 mo old (nursed til he was 14 mo) who has gone from nursing to sleep, to no nursing but holding, to falling asleep on his own in his crib. He co slept exclusively until about 6 mo, cribs for naps but they were always short... What worked for us was sitting in the room with him while he was in his crib singing to him- at first I had to have my hand on his back, then just singing. Now we are at the point where he needs me in the chair in the room about 1/2 the time, but also requests his bed at the end of stories. He still cosleeps when he wakes up in the night, usually around 3am. I like the sleep arrangement we have, very little if any tears, but also inching our way towards duly independent sleep.
ReplyDeleteWe have a 20 mo old (nursed til he was 14 mo) who has gone from nursing to sleep, to no nursing but holding, to falling asleep on his own in his crib. He co slept exclusively until about 6 mo, cribs for naps but they were always short... What worked for us was sitting in the room with him while he was in his crib singing to him- at first I had to have my hand on his back, then just singing. Now we are at the point where he needs me in the chair in the room about 1/2 the time, but also requests his bed at the end of stories. He still cosleeps when he wakes up in the night, usually around 3am. I like the sleep arrangement we have, very little if any tears, but also inching our way towards duly independent sleep.
ReplyDeleteThe 30 minute sleep cycle is brutal. Jay does it too - 30 minutes EXACTLY. Hate it.
ReplyDelete