I am really feeling pressure on my available time. I am a single, working parent of two kids with very different temporal needs. End stop. This general situation is not going to change for the next three years with LG in the house. I am interested to see what happens when it's just me and Tiny Boy. But that's still far off.
When I remember having 'more time' in a general sense was before Tiny Boy's birth, when LG was in lower elementary school and had an early bedtime (6:30/7 in kindergarten, as I recall!). She also took the bus to school, which meant my work day started as early as 8:15. So even though I was doing fertility treatment for some of that...my time was more my own (this through the rosy lens of a decade. I know it didn't feel like it at the time).
I just commented on a post of SHU's that I need about eight more hours per week. I do think that's about right. That comes out to about an hour a day...so in theory I should be able to make that time (I mean, I do manage to watch TV!). In practical terms, I'm not sure when unless it means (a) giving up sleep, (b) giving up time with kids, (c) giving up working out (which is not happening A LOT) anyway, or (d) working literally up until my own bedtime, which doesn't seem good from a sleep hygiene lens. The other possibility (e) is more childcare on weekends. I hadn't really considered this until right now. It's interesting to contemplate, either by adding another hour to my Sunday sitter (right now she does 3) or possibly Saturday. The hard thing is that to do the kind of work that requires those additional 6-8 hours means I need to have energy and focus, so deciding to carve it out at 9:30 pm doesn't make a lot of sense.
And now that I've used 15 minutes of my kid-in-school time, I'm going to get to WORK.
Observations welcome. I'm planning to track my time for October.
When I remember having 'more time' in a general sense was before Tiny Boy's birth, when LG was in lower elementary school and had an early bedtime (6:30/7 in kindergarten, as I recall!). She also took the bus to school, which meant my work day started as early as 8:15. So even though I was doing fertility treatment for some of that...my time was more my own (this through the rosy lens of a decade. I know it didn't feel like it at the time).
I just commented on a post of SHU's that I need about eight more hours per week. I do think that's about right. That comes out to about an hour a day...so in theory I should be able to make that time (I mean, I do manage to watch TV!). In practical terms, I'm not sure when unless it means (a) giving up sleep, (b) giving up time with kids, (c) giving up working out (which is not happening A LOT) anyway, or (d) working literally up until my own bedtime, which doesn't seem good from a sleep hygiene lens. The other possibility (e) is more childcare on weekends. I hadn't really considered this until right now. It's interesting to contemplate, either by adding another hour to my Sunday sitter (right now she does 3) or possibly Saturday. The hard thing is that to do the kind of work that requires those additional 6-8 hours means I need to have energy and focus, so deciding to carve it out at 9:30 pm doesn't make a lot of sense.
And now that I've used 15 minutes of my kid-in-school time, I'm going to get to WORK.
Observations welcome. I'm planning to track my time for October.
WOW! Single mom, 2 kids, I did it too. ONLY 8 HOURS MORE A WEEK!!!!! Amazing idea. I wanted 24 hrs of wake time. I was working 70-80 hrs a week to support kids but the idea of only needing 8 more hrs ... your job must have some flexiblity in it mine did not.
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE DOING BRILLIANTLY!!
I'm part of a working couple with an elementary school kid - and went from a-work-at-home job with 30% travel to an office job with a commute (2-4 hours a day depending on timing and traffic) and some travel. I've lost 'my' few hours a week I had to get things done around the house including exercise. And I'm exhausted from the commute - I do like the job so I've been in a similar same circular thought process as you of trying to 'find' time. My current plan is in addition to tracking time, is to make exercise just a non negotiable at least 2 times a week and see if that sticks.
ReplyDeleteLong and short - I'm so impressed at everything you manage to do. And will be very curious on how you work through this. Sneakers
You're really amazing! (Btw, I love SHU, she seems like such a lovely person, but I had to stop following her, because all the organization and optimization really stress me out; my personality is simply too different.)
ReplyDeleteBtw, I wouldn't compare yourself to yourself of 20, 15, or even 10 years ago, even if you were to account for the number of kids. I know I don't have the stamina I used to have 10-15 years ago; I just don't. And even if I make sure I get enough exercise and sleep, I am still not 20 or even 30. I just can't do as much, and can't push myself as far, and perhaps most importantly don't want to push myself as much, at least not at work, because it simply doesn't matter to me as much as it did 15 years ago. So when I do have to push myself, I resent it and the resentment makes it much harder than 15 years ago.
(Unrelated: I just got my first poem acceptance! :-)
Congrats on the acceptance! I've been in a reject slump lately. Also not really sending things out as it doesn't pay in terms of my time...
ReplyDeleteYes, I'd love to hang out with SHU some day :) This isn't a comment about her at all (to my mind, she's really self-aware): but I find assumption of most folks who do time management type stuff that there's a PARTNER/SPOUSE is hugely problematic, IMHO.
My hat is off to you doing everything by yourself. My husband takes care of SO MUCH (and still it's not enough and I feel overwhelmed a lot). You're on a completely different level, and I mean that in a good way.
ReplyDeleteAlso academic SMC here, with young kids. And I feel the same way about needing extra hours -- but ones during which I have actual mental energy. It's amazing how much more efficient I can be during the day in my office, as opposed to nighttime when I'm just too tired (especially if there have been bedtime battles). On the other hand, I do kind-of cherish weekends as family time, so I'm reluctant to hire weekend sitters that often. --accm
ReplyDeleteaccm--Yes, exactly!!
ReplyDeleteI've used Sunday afternoon sitters off and on with both kids. The trade off for me is having more time with kids DURING the week (i.e. on Thurs Tiny Boy comes home at 3:45 immediately after school, instead of doing after care, and as a general rule I don't pick up after 5:00) The time needs to come from somewhere. I do try to keep Fri pm through Sun noon work-free, and that includes email (though if Tiny Boy is out of the house, bonus!!).