Figuring out a 'good' routine for cleaning and household responsibilities is an ongoing, everchanging project as the kids age. The kids have an allowance and chores, which are loosely linked. That is, I don't pay them per chore (except for major extras like shoveling the driveway) but use allowance as general reminder that they need to do things around the house. They have responsibilities and they also have rights and rewards. This works moderately well.
Right now Tiny Boy is mostly responsible for Tiny Boy related messes (i.e. cleaning up the family room where he plays and stores a lot of his stuff); he also empties the small trash cans weekly before our trash day. Theoretically he likes doing cat litter, etc, but it requires so much intervention on my part that it's not actually helpful. I wish he liked vacuuming regularly because it's calming for him, and it's a job I don't particularly like.
Sorting out LG is more complex. LG pays for bus pass and Spotify account from their allowance, as well as food purchased with friends (i.e. Starbucks or a bagel, etc). We have just come to new agreement, since LG is currently not working and only taking 3 classes. LG usually is responsible for cat litter and emptying dishwasher, as well as cleaning up after themselves. LG also watches Tiny Boy if I run to the store, etc. Additionally, LG is going to cook dinner twice a week (the days I'm on campus) and begin taking on some combo of laundry, bathrooms, and sweeping floors. This is helpful, and it also serves as prep for the plan to live in an apartment with two friends (!!!!!!) in the fall in lieu of the dorm. LG's default for meals is pasta or nachos, so I think we'll do some meal planning together to get them to make other stuff (LG can follow a recipe but gets overwhelmed).
For a few months we had a housecleaner monthly. When omicron hit and LG had COVID, we paused the service. I'm not sure we'll be restarting. While the house was slightly cleaner, because it was only monthly, it didn't save me huge amounts of time. The cleaners did wear masks, but not well, and that was added stress. I think if LG begins contributing just a bit more, we'll be in reasonably good shape.
In other house related news, I bought a washing machine on sale yesterday! It comes on Thursday! I am quite excited. Next up, the fridge.
Would love to hear about your routines, approach to kid chores, etc, in comments!
Congratulations on the washing machine! Our current dryer is making crunching sounds so we may have a similar purchase on our horizon.
ReplyDeleteA lot of the chores DC1 has been doing are in preparation for him going off to college. It's really useful to have those skills and to not have to learn them after you've left home (or else get into fights with a roommate or significant other about them).
Right now I'm trying the natural consequences approach to laundry, under the assumption that nobody will be there to tell DC1 to do his laundry in time to have clean towels or underpants. It has been having mixed results and it is insanely hard for me to just let it go instead of giving heavy hints that maybe now would be a good time. So far he's run out of towels a couple of times and long pants he was willing to wear once (he had a pair of jeans and a pair of burgundy sweatpants he refused to wear and instead went to school in shorts in 35-45 degree weather... not the only teen that did so though).
We've had the occasional shorts in cold weather days around here. I figure in elementary school, I might get a call or email, but once they're past 6th grade, everyone knows teens have weird preferences and do crazy things like wear shorts in 35 degree weather, so it's okay. Same with coats - until middle school, you need to take one. After that, they can learn the hard way.
DeleteWe tend to assign chores day by day as needed, with an expectation of 5-15 minutes per day. At different points this has been between fine and a nag-fest, depending on the kid. It allows us to take school and activities/work schedules into account, which I like. It's also more immediate for those kids who struggle to remember X chore every X & Y days. "Please empty the dishwasher before I start cooking at 5" gives some flexibility but is short-term. Depending on household food preferences and limitations, designating one night/week do your own thing night or soup or salad night can be helpful to limit decision fatigue.
ReplyDeleteI have just the one child at home now, and just realized that their daily chore is the same as when they were a toddler (sorting cutlery). Uh-Oh. In theory, they're supposed to check dry food in the puppies' bowls too, but it involves me checking and reminding them to top up. OTOH, both kids have been responsible for making their beds (pulling up the comforter) since they were 5 or so and doing their own laundry once they turned 10.
ReplyDeleteThis is still a work in progress in our home as well. I definitely hear you on some chores requiring so much intervention that assigning them to the child isn't helpful: I feel that way about several tasks that are assigned to my sons -- ha!
ReplyDeleteI am so haphazard about this. The kids do pitch in with cleaning their own spaces, and sometimes their own bathroom (which is, let's be honest, disgusting) ... but I don't require them to do a particular thing on a regular basis. We don't do allowances either, because I feel like either they live here and contribute, or they live here and don't contribute, and it's on me. I also am way too particular about things being clean, so I probably do more than I should beecause I'm too type A about it. I wish you luck with this one and wish I had better advice!
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