I Hate the Phone (and The 17 Week Freakout)

Yesterday, I received my new insurance ID card in the mail and began the torturous process of "activating" it.  See, this is the first time in my adult life I've had an HMO.  Until now I've done just fine without a primary care giver; I've seen an ob/gyn, an RE, and a neurologist and managed just fine between them.  But not only do you need a primary with this new HMO--that I only signed up for because it will save me about $300/month!--but apparently somebody assigned both LG and I primary docs without consulting us.  Oh-kay.  First I called the primary I thought I wanted to use to set up an appointment, only to be told (1) she's not accepting new patients and (2) I need to call the insurance to find out who is "preferred."  (This was after being put on hold for about 10 minutes.) 

I called the insurance to learn that there's no such thing as a "preferred" doctor--they either contract with my insurance or they don't.  Insurance Guy #1 suggested that I call the primary first and get an appointment (umm, yeah, I tried to do that) and then call the insurance company back.  Sounds fine, so I thought I'd go ahead and assign LG's primary, since her pediatrician will not change.  This was the point at which I learned she'd been assigned a ped (by someone in HR?) and I need to "request" a change, which sounded like an extraordinarily complicated thing that might not be approved.  WTF. 

I then proceeded to ask about all the rigamarole involved in seeing a hematogist at my ob's request.  The problem, of course, from their standpoint is that a specialist cannot refer you to another specialist.  The problem from my end, obviously, is that this insurance doesn't start until July 1, and my appointment, long arranged, is scheduled for July 6.  Which means I need to pay out of pocket and just hope I get a retroactive referral from whatever primary care provider I end up with.  Gee, that's fine.  Turns out--of course Insurance Guy #1 didn't volunteer this information--I too have been assigned a primary already.  Okay, I said, let me know who it is so I can look her up.  Might work out fine.

Well, as it turns out, the doctor I've been assigned is not female (despite my wrongful assumption based on first name) nor an MD, but a DO, which is the thing around these parts of the country.  Two strikes against him.  I decide I want nothing to do with the first practice I called, since I can't see the doctor I actually want, but, yes, another DO with minimal experience.  Then I wise up and decide to look at the university "internal medicine clinic" to find a huge list of female MDs.  I mean, it's the university clinic which has to take their own fucking health insurance.  I call.  The one I want to see--I'll admit this is a fairly arbitrary decision but it has to do with where she went to school--is booked until October.  I tell the receptionist I can't wait until October, so is there another female doctor who is NOT a resident who can see me before then?  Yes, indeedy.  I've got an appointment with a reasonable alternative for the end of July.  All this, just because my ob wants me to see a hematologist as soon as humanly possible.  Sigh.

So I call back and get Insurance Girl #2, who is very friendly, assigns me the primary doc I want without a problem.  Asks me if I need to do that for LG.  While I have her on the phone I decide to ask about the hematologist situation, only to learn that I can probably be authorized to see her as part of my "transitional care," as it's within the first 90 days of having the new insurance.  Thank you, Insurance Girl #2!  Then I call the hematologist's office, give them the phone number and all the rigamarole and hope that that's been taken care of.  If not, I'll cancel the appointment.

Is this enough drama for you?  In the middle of all this, I decide it's time for the 17 Week Freakout because I am still having fairly regular contractions and not really feeling the baby as much as I think I should, given how early I started feeling it.  It's also been 3.5 weeks since my last OB appointment, and 5.5 weeks since my last ultrasound.  Thankfully, my OB's office takes online messages so I didn't need to talk to anyone.  Or so I thought.  Now I'm in the midst of a phone tag game as the nurse consults with my OB about whether or not it's time to bring me in and check my cervix.

I really hate the phone.