I think I am (still?) experiencing some kind of burnout or what other folks describe as a post-tenure slump.
When I break down my job piece by piece, I have to say I like most of it. I like the teaching (some classes are better than others, of course, but generally I like being in the classroom), I like reading, I like writing. I like meeting with colleagues (when the meetings are necessary, anyway). I like working with students outside the classroom. I like going to talks and poetry readings.
I don't like bureaucracy. I don't like busy work (and those two things tend to go together). I don't like how some things are done at my university.
Mostly the good outweighs the bad, when I'm looking at things somewhat objectively. I have a good gig. I am woefully underpaid for someone with a PhD, even within my already woefully underpaid subsector of the academy. But really, given that I'm not largely motivated by money, I don't think about that much.
So what the fuck is my problem?
I am having a horrible time finishing this book manuscript. (I would rather be writing anything but my book manuscript.) Maybe this is a specific problem and I shouldn't generalize it into a whole mid-career slump problem. But I suspect they are related. Hmm.
Maybe I will go read something at the Chronicle.
When I break down my job piece by piece, I have to say I like most of it. I like the teaching (some classes are better than others, of course, but generally I like being in the classroom), I like reading, I like writing. I like meeting with colleagues (when the meetings are necessary, anyway). I like working with students outside the classroom. I like going to talks and poetry readings.
I don't like bureaucracy. I don't like busy work (and those two things tend to go together). I don't like how some things are done at my university.
Mostly the good outweighs the bad, when I'm looking at things somewhat objectively. I have a good gig. I am woefully underpaid for someone with a PhD, even within my already woefully underpaid subsector of the academy. But really, given that I'm not largely motivated by money, I don't think about that much.
So what the fuck is my problem?
I am having a horrible time finishing this book manuscript. (I would rather be writing anything but my book manuscript.) Maybe this is a specific problem and I shouldn't generalize it into a whole mid-career slump problem. But I suspect they are related. Hmm.
Maybe I will go read something at the Chronicle.
I am commenting backwards, so haven't said anything about your previous post, but I certainly agree that there are days when one has to remember this is just a JOB. Pays the bills, doesn't have to satisfy the soul. Maybe thinking about the MS as your little bit of the auto factory assembly line will make it less hateful?
ReplyDeleteI do think the mid career slump is real and that is what motivated my "year of no" I feel like I HAVE to find a way to be able to stay in this job I worked so hard to secure for "life" and since I can't really move (2 body problem) I have to make THIS ONE work.
ReplyDeleteDo you have to finish the book? I mean at TTLAC we have a boatload of Asso profs and i mean people who are at least 60. Clearly they are never going for full. Do you want to go for full?
femMonhist...yeah, I do want to go for full, hopefully within the next ~4 years, as I spent 10 years at the assistant level (started the tenure clock over with the second job). To do that, I need *a* book but not necessarily this book. But given that I got a grant to do this one...I do need to finish if I want to apply for similar funding in the future.
ReplyDeleteI just made full and pretty fast (6 tenure, 3 more for full).
ReplyDeleteI can tell you that the mid-career or post-tenure slump is real. I am in a STEM field so I have to keep going to maintain funding and I have students and postdocs that need to be overseen, but I definitely have been going through a "now what" period for a few years now, since tenure. For me, it was trying to recapture why I wanted to do this job to begin with -- I loved science and was good at it. Instead, my students and postdocs do the technical work while I teach, write grants to raise money, edit students' manuscripts, and travel to increase the visibility of our work and potential for continued funding (I am not even mentioning the ever more soul sucking service). The post-tenure slump for me has been about trying to figure out how I can reclaim some time to do work on my own and try to reignite the fire that was there, perhaps slowly drifing to a few other subfields that don't bore me, but the challenge is doing the shift in field and modus operandi while maintaining the continuity of funding and a steady stream of students.
But really, there are few (if any) jobs out there that provide a job with such good security, benefits, pay, together with so much flexibility. I try to remind myself of these aspects often.
FWIW, I have talked to a number of people and the post-tenure slump is very, very common thing; the norm rather than an exception.