I've been reading with interest as the bloggers I read put up their annual review posts, and those detailing goals and/or themes for the year. I really like what Ana has to say about lightening up, and I could easily claim that as my own. What I like about a theme is that it ties disparate areas of life together under one umbrella. But the fact that I can't really come up with one that links organically the hodgepodge of things I'd like to work on suggests maybe that's not the right approach for this moment in my life.
Ditto the quarterly goals of Laura Vanderkam. Oh, don't get me wrong: I think she's absolutely right that smaller goals makes more sense than grandiose resolutions. But it seems disingenuous for me to make a goal for next fall, when I have no idea what next fall will actually bring (I might be looking for a new house, I might be on the job market, my mother's health might take a turn again, etc). When I work with students on year-long projects and they have to come up with a title and a plan, I'm always very clear to them that it's bureaucracy. It's a starting point. No one expects that the finished project will look anything like that preliminary sketch. Life is no different.
There are many things I'd like to do with my time in the next year. And to encourage some of those happenings, I'm going to focus on establishing some activities and routines that can be scheduled. I'm also going to think small, rather than big; concrete, rather than abstract. Big grandiose plans are so overwhelming or unrealistic I'll barely get started or will get frustrated and stop (i.e. read all the novels of Virginia Woolf this year!), but small daily habits. Perhaps it's because I'm an academic and have three distinct rhythms and schedules for the year, right now I'm going to think most about spring semester (January through April). And then check in with myself, revisit, and consider the summer.
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When I need to be, I'm obsessively goal-oriented; that's what got me through grad school, infertility treatment, completing a book manuscript for tenure, etc. There's something very addictive about all this planning (I want to be better at everything! let's go!) but I'm not sure it's healthy for me. If there's anything I want (see above about themes!) it's being calm and content, as a person, in my relationships, and at work. That's not so much something I can do but I can foster the circumstances in which it is more likely to occur. That will take some more thought.
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On the concrete side of things:
1. I'm going to continue to schedule alone time with both my kids. With LG this requires actual scheduling with a calendar. We have plans to see The Sound of Music at the theater here in February, and I'd also like to schedule time to go to a women's athletic event (gymnastics?). On a smaller scale, we've been watching The Gilmore Girls together. She's said she'll help me with cooking, so I'll have her plan some menus we can do together. And although I'm reluctant to do more on the computer, I do think we'll start doing 'words with friends' or something as a way to do a game on a smaller scale. It was great doing a 1000-piece puzzle over break, but we don't have that kind of dedicated time.
I'll take Tiny Boy to some local (free!) children's events. But what's critical for me here is actually putting them on the calendar. This will help (a) having a plan for the weekend and (b) reminding myself that we really do do a lot as a family. They might just go in pencil right now, but I'd like a visual look of the 'balance' of my life for the next months. I'm also going to sign him up for tumbling classes. He likes it. It will give him something structured to do on the weekends, and give me a break.
2. There's more I can say about exercise, cooking, reading, socializing...pretty much every area of my life. (I know; too much!) For now I want to sit down with my calendar and start filling it out. And hack off some things to do for the next week, before the semester starts. Ready set go!
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Finally, I'l take a cue from Mel. If you're here and don't regularly comment, please do say hi! I've been blogging here for ~7 years so my audience has shifted. If there's anything you'd like me to write about, let me know. And, a question for you: if you're one of the five people in America who still uses a landline (me!), who is your provider and are you happy with it?
Ditto the quarterly goals of Laura Vanderkam. Oh, don't get me wrong: I think she's absolutely right that smaller goals makes more sense than grandiose resolutions. But it seems disingenuous for me to make a goal for next fall, when I have no idea what next fall will actually bring (I might be looking for a new house, I might be on the job market, my mother's health might take a turn again, etc). When I work with students on year-long projects and they have to come up with a title and a plan, I'm always very clear to them that it's bureaucracy. It's a starting point. No one expects that the finished project will look anything like that preliminary sketch. Life is no different.
There are many things I'd like to do with my time in the next year. And to encourage some of those happenings, I'm going to focus on establishing some activities and routines that can be scheduled. I'm also going to think small, rather than big; concrete, rather than abstract. Big grandiose plans are so overwhelming or unrealistic I'll barely get started or will get frustrated and stop (i.e. read all the novels of Virginia Woolf this year!), but small daily habits. Perhaps it's because I'm an academic and have three distinct rhythms and schedules for the year, right now I'm going to think most about spring semester (January through April). And then check in with myself, revisit, and consider the summer.
*
When I need to be, I'm obsessively goal-oriented; that's what got me through grad school, infertility treatment, completing a book manuscript for tenure, etc. There's something very addictive about all this planning (I want to be better at everything! let's go!) but I'm not sure it's healthy for me. If there's anything I want (see above about themes!) it's being calm and content, as a person, in my relationships, and at work. That's not so much something I can do but I can foster the circumstances in which it is more likely to occur. That will take some more thought.
*
On the concrete side of things:
1. I'm going to continue to schedule alone time with both my kids. With LG this requires actual scheduling with a calendar. We have plans to see The Sound of Music at the theater here in February, and I'd also like to schedule time to go to a women's athletic event (gymnastics?). On a smaller scale, we've been watching The Gilmore Girls together. She's said she'll help me with cooking, so I'll have her plan some menus we can do together. And although I'm reluctant to do more on the computer, I do think we'll start doing 'words with friends' or something as a way to do a game on a smaller scale. It was great doing a 1000-piece puzzle over break, but we don't have that kind of dedicated time.
I'll take Tiny Boy to some local (free!) children's events. But what's critical for me here is actually putting them on the calendar. This will help (a) having a plan for the weekend and (b) reminding myself that we really do do a lot as a family. They might just go in pencil right now, but I'd like a visual look of the 'balance' of my life for the next months. I'm also going to sign him up for tumbling classes. He likes it. It will give him something structured to do on the weekends, and give me a break.
2. There's more I can say about exercise, cooking, reading, socializing...pretty much every area of my life. (I know; too much!) For now I want to sit down with my calendar and start filling it out. And hack off some things to do for the next week, before the semester starts. Ready set go!
*
Finally, I'l take a cue from Mel. If you're here and don't regularly comment, please do say hi! I've been blogging here for ~7 years so my audience has shifted. If there's anything you'd like me to write about, let me know. And, a question for you: if you're one of the five people in America who still uses a landline (me!), who is your provider and are you happy with it?
Hi I am here ( a reader of a few years) and have never commented. I am an apparatchik for a state agency. When it comes to landline service- if reliability is the most important issue, then typically your long time service provider was the most reliable (e.g. Bell South, Verizon, Pacific Bell- now AT&T). IF you get good cell service in your house, and you reliably keep your cell phone charged, then landline service reliability is not necessarily the highest priority. One issue to look for if you are in an area subject to regular nature related outages (storms, snow, ice, hurricanes) is the power back up provided by your local service provider. Some cable companies which provide VoIP (voice over Internet protocol) based services, have limited battery back up in case of large scale outages. Some other local companies provide service that either is regulated by the state agency overseeing utilities in the state, but also a non-regulated VoIP service. Know which you are getting.
ReplyDeleteHi! I'm a new reader and I've never commented. I tend toward lurking although I'm considering trying to change that this year. I haven't had a land line in years and just an Ooma that is VoIP since our new house has terrible cell coverage. Its new enough that I haven't had time to really test it (no power outages, etc.) but I like it so far and the price is right.
ReplyDeleteThanks for introducing yourselves! All this is complicated which is why I've done nothing about it!
ReplyDeleteElaine, I've been looking into Ooma. Right now I have ATT traditional home phone service and pay way too much. It seems like upgrading either on ATT or Verizon goes VOIP anyway, and if I'm doing that, why pay any carrier? Unless I'm just missing something.
Also have ATT internet, which I might change. It works fine for my needs but I might be able to get a better deal.
I don't use a cell phone AT ALL other than emergencies and don't really see that changing. I am looking into go phone or something for LG, though.
I didn't realize you had to make all your quarterly goals at once. Makes more sense to me to have goals for each quarter as it comes up, since, like you said, life can take many turns between today and next fall!
ReplyDeleteLove the goal of one-on-one with each kid. Scheduling is so key in making things happen. It brings the abstract "that would be nice!" to the concrete "here is how that would look in my life right now". sometimes the very act of trying to schedule it clues me in to the fact that certain goals need to be left on the shelf for the time being (i.e. I would love to someday take up a craft or hobby, but...there literally is no time in which to do so right now)
Depending on your needs, you can reduce your landline bill from AT&T especially if you get rid of the extras (Caller ID- you can monitor calls and pick up once you hear the voice on the answering machine, Voice Mail). With kids, if you are on long calls a lot, Call Waiting is a good idea, but only you can judge if that is a need. Also, if you have limited local calls, you can look into a measured residential service. I know my Mom is in NY and she can get basic Internet for about $19.99 and then local phone service on top (she gets Lifeline so all told it comes to $36/mo). AT&T might have convinced you to get a dialing plan for an extendee area but you might do better getting a phone card and using that for any toll/long distance calls. That takes more monitoring though.
ReplyDeleteHi! I've been reading for a couple months but never commented, not for any particular reason. :)
ReplyDeleteHi, I've been reading since 2011 and only rarely comment. Your blog had been very helpful in understanding a little bit better what a friend struggling with infertility was going through, so thanks for that! Now I just like to read how things are going with you and your family :-)
ReplyDeleteRead you for years. Please keep writing. You ground me in reality. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteHi, lousy at commenting as I mostly read blogs on my phone, but I've dipped in and out for years as a fellow academic (in STEM and the UK, but some things are constants...)
ReplyDeleteI'm still here :-)
ReplyDelete