(I wrote a draft of this, and it was great I tell you, and then hit some key and it disappeared into the ether! Argh!)
The gist of it was I had an epiphany yesterday, one of those that I have cyclically and then forget about, probably because it goes against a cultural dominant. Even as I'm making--and dreading--my "to do list" it occurs to me that those "to dos" are my LIFE.
Perhaps it's because all the big things I've worked for in my adult life I've accomplished. And at the moment I have no big WANT that's fueling me, just the sense that I am where I need to be. And past the crisis mode of infertility/high risk pregnancy and the make-it-through-the-day mode of baby/toddlerhood and sleep deprivation. It's time to actually thrive. I mean, Tiny Boy is 4! LG is almost 12!!!
Nothing is urgent, which makes everything feel urgent. But really, what would happen, for example, if I decided to not check email AT ALL over the remainder of winter break? Probably not much.
*
I'm writing this here, because this is really as close to a journal as I get. Although there are many things I'd like to accomplish and "goals" I have for the year, I'll list here only what I'd like to do in the next few weeks. I'm reluctant to call them "goals"; perhaps areas of focus or dedication? (Life is not a business. And although there is much good advice to be found in books about 'productivity,' I'm not sure that productivity is what we should aspire to.) Anyway:
Self: establish regular exercise regimen/daily yoga practice. This is tricky, due to the cold/snow/ice where I live. After a lot of deliberation I'll spare you (though I'd be happy to answer any questions about my thought process!), I'm trying out "YogaGlo" online and might also try an online barre class.
Family: spend one-on-one time with my kids. This is something I have mostly always done, but I'd like to think strategically about it (talked about this some in my last post).
Work: establish more regular reading habits (I do read, but I'd like this to be more systematic.) One small change I'm going to implement is reading on paper before sitting down to write for the day.
*
I'll probably say more about this process as it goes. Now I need to gocheck some things off the list live my life.
The gist of it was I had an epiphany yesterday, one of those that I have cyclically and then forget about, probably because it goes against a cultural dominant. Even as I'm making--and dreading--my "to do list" it occurs to me that those "to dos" are my LIFE.
Perhaps it's because all the big things I've worked for in my adult life I've accomplished. And at the moment I have no big WANT that's fueling me, just the sense that I am where I need to be. And past the crisis mode of infertility/high risk pregnancy and the make-it-through-the-day mode of baby/toddlerhood and sleep deprivation. It's time to actually thrive. I mean, Tiny Boy is 4! LG is almost 12!!!
Nothing is urgent, which makes everything feel urgent. But really, what would happen, for example, if I decided to not check email AT ALL over the remainder of winter break? Probably not much.
*
I'm writing this here, because this is really as close to a journal as I get. Although there are many things I'd like to accomplish and "goals" I have for the year, I'll list here only what I'd like to do in the next few weeks. I'm reluctant to call them "goals"; perhaps areas of focus or dedication? (Life is not a business. And although there is much good advice to be found in books about 'productivity,' I'm not sure that productivity is what we should aspire to.) Anyway:
Self: establish regular exercise regimen/daily yoga practice. This is tricky, due to the cold/snow/ice where I live. After a lot of deliberation I'll spare you (though I'd be happy to answer any questions about my thought process!), I'm trying out "YogaGlo" online and might also try an online barre class.
Family: spend one-on-one time with my kids. This is something I have mostly always done, but I'd like to think strategically about it (talked about this some in my last post).
Work: establish more regular reading habits (I do read, but I'd like this to be more systematic.) One small change I'm going to implement is reading on paper before sitting down to write for the day.
*
I'll probably say more about this process as it goes. Now I need to go
