Small Good Things

1. I have been 'hiking' and 'mountain climbing' on our treadmill (which came with a 1-year iFit membership).  I have seen parts of Mount Fuji and the Grand Canyon, among other places.  Apparently there's a Mount Everett series that I will need to check out.
2. Tiny Boy and I made peanut butter cookies with just peanut butter, sugar, and an egg, with a chocolate square on top.  Yum!  And GF!
3. I have over the past year amassed quite a home bar.  I'm not drinking a lot but a couple cocktails per week.  The fun right now is experimenting, although most of what I drink is a riff on a gimlet or a mule.  I did acquire Midori, which I drank when I was twenty-one and WTF was I thinking?
4. Speaking of twenty-one, I am having a zoom reunion with my college roommate and my first boyfriend, across three time zones, later this afternoon.  Wild!
5. Although I'm a bit overwhelmed by the gathering and drafting of my promotion materials, I have mostly shifted to a summer pace, that includes the reading of novels and the watching of movies and the staring into space and I could not need that more.  What a fucking year.  Amen.

Small Good Things

1. It is open window weather.  That is the good thing.  But remember how this house didn't have screens and I needed to have them custom made?  Unfortunately they are not super secure and we had an incident involving both kittens--cats?  they're about one and large but still kitteny in terms of behavior--escaping.  Fortunately they were too afraid to go anywhere and the three of us rounded them up.  Now I know I can't open a window more than about 2 inches, but at least they are OPEN.
2. Our university ice cream shop is open for curbside pickup, so yesterday we ordered 3 pints.  Usually there's a line out the door.  This was so easy.  Three flavors!  Yum!
3. Watching:  Bunheads (if you like Gilmore Girls and/or are a former dancer this is good fun).  Next up in film fest with LG:  Get Out.  Reading:  Rodham and Dreyer's English (OMG, delightful).
4. Our town has a fabulous plan to close a downtown street and set up picnic tables 12 feet apart where you can sit and purchase local restaurant fare.  This is the sort of thing I love about living in a university town.  I do hope our state govt goes along with this plan.  I really miss rooftop dining from one of our local establishments and this would be so great.
5. I get to see actual humans today!  While of course I have SEEN actual humans I haven't actually planned on seeing friends face to face since early March.  We're going to sit outside.  I'm even going to wear a bra and a summery dress.

Small Good Things

1. Okay, so not so small:  In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I am giving myself (and everyone else) a reminder of my deep gratitude for the gamete donors who allowed me to have LG and Tiny Boy.  I hope you and your families are healthy.  My world, if not also the world in general, is better for having these children in it.
2. All the good feelings that accompany the end of year (scholarship winners, ceremonies, diss defenses) feel amplified in their odd zoom formats.  I got an email from a student's mother (that might be a first?)  I'm just full of the good feelings.
3. I found a bottle of cherry moscato in my basement from a party last fall, and it is more than drinkable.  And I could drink it during a work event because my house is not my campus.
4. Food stuffs:  crisp made with frozen mixed berries and cherries (minus the strawberries that LG asked me to pull out for smoothie), potato salad, pickled red onions made with repurposed leftover pickle brine.  While we mostly have the food that we would ordinarily eat (other than ridiculously specific stuff like the particular yogurt Tiny Boy likes).
5. TV show:  did someone around here mention Better Things?  It's been suggested to me by various folks in my real life and you know, I really do like it.

Small Good Things

1. LG has decided to shift Tiny Boy's "lesson" from 11 to 9:30 am, which works better for all parties.  Today they began a multi-day project the goal of which is producing a cat toy.  Today they conducted an experiment to see what the cats like.  (It was wonderful and also hilarious to listen to their discussion from the next room.  They were so serious.  LG calculated percentages (?!!)  Tomorrow they will design the toy on paper.  For so much of the day LG is grumpy in general and with the sibling in particular, so THIS is such a wonderful thing.
2. I pulled Tiny Boy off the TV 30 minutes earlier this morning to set up the school laptop.  The result is he's been on a screen virtually all day.  However he has also been quiet and focused.  And, bonus:  he listened to Michele Obama read The Gruffalo, which is a fav, on YouTube/PBS Kids.
3. We walked downtown yesterday to the "urban" Target to pick up a 5 lb bag of flour and jelly beans (priorities, people!).  It's about a mile each way, and Tiny Boy did the whole thing on a scooter.  Amen.  (And thanks to our neighbor who sewed him a mask for his teeny face.)
4. I finished Ben Lerner's first novel Leaving the Atocha Station, and it's okay, but not as good as 10.04.  I'll order The Topeka School since it's checked out from our library, and I seem to like Lerner well enough to own his books.  Right now fiction is good, which is surprising because generally I haven't liked fiction since the unfortunate event of November 2016.
5. I took a walk today in my pajamas.  Because, why not.  It feels like all the trappings of civilized society are going away, and that mostly feels good.

In Which We Enter Phase Two of this Experiment

1. We ordered DONUTS from our local (independent) donut shop, which I will pick up tomorrow morning.  Tiny Boy wanted them today, but they didn't have any GF available, and if I need to risk health by leaving the house I'm going to get a donut out of it.
2. That virtual event yesterday?  It was so amazingly perfect.  I was so impressed with our guest, our students, the whole dynamic.  One of my colleagues and I had a chat thread going (private), in which we were both confessing to crying.  It was THAT powerful.  And you know, it would have been just business-as-usual if it had been live in the time before.  I am so glad we moved to this format.
3. Next time I do a grocery pick up I will also get seeds and start our garden experiment.
4. We picked up a school laptop for Tiny Boy yesterday so he can start his online "schooling" next week.  I'm not optimistic about how this will go, but I also think it will serve a kind of reboot on quarantine and allow me to impose some new rules/order as screen time has gotten completely out of control this week.
5. It will be warmer this weekend, after a week of snow and cold.  Amen.

Small Good Things

1. Game time!  We're all really enjoying playing chess.  I've learned enough that I actually need to go easy on Tiny Boy or he loses too quickly.  He prefers to forfeit slightly before he is destined to lose.  Last night we played Rummikub; Tiny Boy won.
2. A local market I like but don't often shop at (about 15-20 min drive) is doing CURBSIDE.  It was as easy as writing an email with my list (i.e. "two dozen eggs--organic/cage free preferred").  They called to confirm substitutions and take payment.  Super easy.  Very low contact.  Had 90% of what I wanted.  Supported local business.  Will definitely do this again.
3. As a result of said market run, we have enough potato chips, jelly beans, chocolate, and coffee.  You know, all the food groups. (Also purchased actual fruits, vegetables, and protein sources for both carnivores and vegetarians in our household)
4. My STUDENTS.  My dept chair has asked select seniors to do a profile that we can circulate (since graduation is not happening in a recognizable form).  I've already been mentioned in five (?) of them.  One woman I almost needed to fail last semester singled me out as being influential and supportive.  I'm feeling really good about pedagogy when I'm not in the classroom.  (ha)
5. I've learned a lot about Tiny Boy's learning during this process.  He doesn't get in trouble for not sitting still at Fun Learning Center.  He also can't talk to his friends out of turn.  His reading has improved. His handwriting has improved. He is doing math above grade level (instead of the second grade equivalent of a "D") He wrote a letter to the president, guys, in which he called him out for not helping.  Not sure what I will need to communicate with his teachers when they actually go to school but clearly there's something here other than his intelligence and aptitude.

Small Good Things

A small good streak.

1. I organized the board games/art supplies.  There was less random junk than I thought.  But the Candy Land board is missing all its pieces, so that can leave my house now.
2. Tiny Boy inherited some fuse (perler) beads and while I find ironing them to stick together less than stimulating, he was occupied (and QUIET) all morning.  I made a big show of praising him for finding something that keeps him calm.
3. I really like Easter candy.  I'm glad I sent LG to Target to buy some.  (Those candy coated chocolate mini eggs, if you want to know.)
4. I finished reading the student's diss today.  I also finished reading Body Leaping Backwards which was okay enough to finish but not amazing enough to teach.
5. Did I mention yesterday my neighbors put out on the curb a nice (slightly beat up) legit wood coffee and after caught me eyeing it carried it down to our yard, at which point LG and I lugged it into our family room and put it in the very weird empty spot behind our couch so now Tiny Boy has a place to keep his projects that end up on the floor or the actual coffee table in front of our couch.  (Yes, I wiped it down first. But also, just adjacent to family friends, so....)

Small Good Things

Another round!

1. My mood is better today.
2. That may or may not be related to the fact that I slept until almost 9 am, took a walk early (with Tiny Boy & Pokemon Go), did some yoga all before noon.
3. Tiny Boy is outside 'social distance playing' with a friend across the street.  They are literally playing with the street between them.  This has enabled me to read ~50 pages of a grad student's dissertation that I have been (not intentionally) putting off.
4. There's a lot of fairy gardens out in our neighborhood.  We have a very small set, but it's nice to share in something like this as everyone is out and about walking.  I put it out front instead of in the back where we kept it last year.
5. Currently reading Maureen Stanton's memoir Body Leaping Backward and Ben Lerner's Leaving the Atocha Station.
6. It is about 50 and sunny, as opposed to 30s and snowing as it was the other day.

Small Good Things

Y'all.  I am still in a funk.  I am sad, cranky, overwhelmed, anxious, melancholic (in the true Freudian sense) and periodically full of something akin to rage.  So, I bring you (and me) some small good things:

1. LG has taught Tiny Boy to play chess.  LG has tried to teach me how to play chess.  The former is going better than the latter, in case you wanted to know.  I'm still like, okay, so the one with the horse can move how?
2. Tiny Boy wrote a letter to our governor in his best handwriting (which is to say, he actually tried to use lower case letters).  It was the sweetest.
3. LG is going to walk downtown later today (yay for the walk!) to pick up some candy (yay!) from our "urban market" Target.
4. I just submitted a manuscript.
5. Potatoes. Potatoes. Potatoes. Potatoes.  Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee.
6. I remembered a stretch to deal with my seizing glutes.
7. There are blossoms on trees outside. That makes up for yesterday's freak snow storm.
8. Tiny Boy is having a second grade cousin playdate on zoom today.
9. Using my kitchen counter as a standing desk.
10. The music of Max Richter as a non-coffee shop soundtrack.

Gratitude

While Tiny Boy finishes Sunday morning TV, some things I am grateful for (and enjoying!) these days:

1. risotto in the pressure cooker
2. new coffee pot with refillable k-cup thing
3. hiring a friend's daughter (recent college grad, now home again) to pick up LG at late events last week
4. the first-grade playdate, esp. Tiny Boy's friend taking him yesterday for two hours (usually we've been play-dating chez nous)
5. the relative lack of leaves to rake at the new house, given tree type and placement
6. having a second bathroom, and a study
7. not living adjacent to a student rental anymore
8. giving my students an extra day to write a paper, which means I didn't have a substantial body of material to grade this weekend
9. conferencing next weekend; I'll see some good friends, I will have a hotel night to myself, etc.
10. I have not said this lately:  but Tiny Boy sleeps, and the set up in the new house means that I sleep.  Like really well.  (I'd like to try to get off Lunesta when I can afford a day or two of no sleep, which probably means winter break.)

Small Victories

1. I started using the chrome app Strict Workflow, mentioned recently by Undine.  I blocked my work email during writing times.  Super helpful.
2. On Thursday I decided to have a catch up day.  In practical terms, this wasn't really any different than any other work-at-home day, but I checked off a lot of stupid small items, like updating our course management system and emailing various home repair people that has been on my to do list for WEEKS.
3. This morning I managed to reset our thermostat (wireless) which had no signal (and therefore the second day this week with no heat).  It only took me about 90 minutes and a lot of trips up and down to the basement to figure out that the furnace cover was very slightly (and I do mean very!) ajar, after routine maintenance the other day.  Score!
4. While Tiny Boy refused to hang out at the gym kids club, he did walk/run around the track.  Then when he started whining he wanted to go home, I said "I'll make a deal with you.  When my Fitbit gets to 4000, we can go."  So I walked as much as I had wanted in the first place...
5. It is insane raining today.  LG has play practice.  Tiny Boy and I are going to our public library, where he will hang out in the Maker Space and have unlimited computer time and I will read for class.

Summer Schedule and Small Things

Happiness leads to lame, or saccharine, blogging I suppose, but right now things feel good.  I'm not dealing with infertility or major family drama.  My mother, who now describes herself as a cancer survivor, is doing well.  The work insanity is done for now (although I will confess that every time I check my email there's a small part of me that wonders when I'll be hit again), and I have a few weeks before I have to sit down with the dean and our new department chair to figure out what the future holds for me from an administrative perspective.

In the meantime, I am pleased to find that without going to campus, I am both highly productive and pleasantly slow in terms of pace (I read The Slow Professor last week and might do a review).  Here's something resembling a weekday:

5:55 Tiny Boy wake up; escort the cat on to the back porch (otherwise he yowls, runs, and wakes up the entire household); if I'm luck TB goes back to bed and I doze
7:00 Tiny Boy comes in for a snuggle; we go feed animals, make lunches, get ready for the day
7:45-8:00 wake up LG
9:00 home from drop offs; this is always my prime writing time, now I'm using my kitchen counter as a standing desk and loving it
11:30-12:15 3000+ step walk and lunch
12:30-3:00 afternoon writing/research block (I'm taking one day a week to go to special collections in the library and one day a week to work on editing/submissions; I read in here for at least an hour)
3:00-4:00 email/admin stuff + household chores (I'm using a FlyLady-ish weekly focus to deep clean areas of my house that really need attention)
4:15 or so, pick up kids (this week LG is at a camp which ends at 3:00, which sort of sucks, but it's across from the public library so she walked herself there and called me to check in, which is all kinds of awesome.  Yay for 12!)
evenings:  LG has softball games or practice most nights, so if it's a home game we go and if away she goes with her teammates (she does double headers and it is way too much softball for a 4-year-old to sit through); although I am not a sporty person at all, I'm enjoying watching her and playing catch with Tiny Boy and just being there
7:45-8:30 Tiny Boy bedtime rituals; I read on the iPad while he's knocking out
8:30-9:15 time with LG, often involving Gilmore Girls or weird shit on youtube (her choice) or working on a puzzle
9:30-10:15 read fiction (just finished American Girls, which was written by one of my grad school chums--highly recommend!); watch something on Netflix (I just finished all of Orphan Black and will now start the new season of Orange is the New Black)

So, yeah, lots of writing (I have four projects going, including a short story collection, which is a totally new thing for me), lots of reading, lots of softball, lots of making muffins.  I have also checked some big ticket things off my to do list, including calling miscellaneous repair people (need to do more of this), purchasing a recliner that doesn't look like a recliner for the living room (I have had a hand-me-down chair since graduate school that I have never replaced) and new cushions for the porch, because I realized I might actually sit out there if it were clean, comfortable, and reclaimed as an art studio (as opposed to the site of vodka and too many IVF induced freakouts to count).  (The art studio thing has been good, but Tiny Boy has a thing for glue, which, well, let's just say that cat fur and elmer's glue don't mix).  I'm also going like 80-90% grain free, because I have gained back all the weight I lost and I realized I feel horrible not just when I ingest wheat but also corn (I'm still having granola, and limited amounts of rice; I have been making zucchini noodles, which had me skeptical, but even Tiny Boy will eat them as a raw veggie).

Now I need to go meet LG at the public library and find more things to read.

NaBloPoMo

1. for dinner I made this thing involving french fries, leftover barbecue pork, and cheddar cheese.  LG and I thought it was divine.  Tiny Boy disagreed; however, he is willing to eat a regular salad with hershey's syrup as "salad dressing."  We don't share the same tastes.
2. Bought Heath Bars on post-Halloween clearance.  They are my favorite candy EVER.
3. Tiny Boy is asleep and it is before 8:00.  That makes up for him being awake from 2-5 this morning (what the fuck, Tiny Boy?!).
4. A. and I are doing a round of time-sharing children this weekend (she takes all 4 for a couple hours, and then I take all 4 for a couple hours).  Amen.
5. I am rereading Meg Wolitzer's The Ten-Year Nap because I'm teaching it.  And it is just as good as I remembered.  I have 9 class periods left.  Not that I'm counting or anything...

*

We'll see how long this NaBloPoMo thing lasts.

Small Good Things

1. Saw a dear friend who moved cross country just about a year ago.  Yesterday, margaritas and cheese dip, this morning eggs and potatoes at my place.  Not nearly enough.
2. Sidewalk chalk with Tiny Boy.
3. Despite the whole 2 hr bedtime last night, he slept straight through until 5:30.  Amen.
4. Have not washed diapers in a week.  He seems to have "potty trained" with absolutely no effort on my part.  A few accidents first thing in the morning but none at school and none in the evening.
5. Read a good chunk of All Joy and No Fun, which is just smart.  Maybe I'll say more about it.

Bonus:  I love my bathtub.  I will love it even more when it is surrounded by tile and not cement board.

Small Good Things

1. Okay, this is actually rather huge.  A colleague in the art dept volunteered to get me out of mess with cover for one of my books.  Whew.  And oh my goodness, THANK YOU.
2. I called my therapist, who generally has a waiting list several months out...and wouldn't you know it but there's an opening just for me tomorrow morning.  Let's hear it for well-timed phone calls!
3. LG helped put her brother to bed last night.  After about the fifth potty call, I sent her in to his room and she said "Tiny Boy, Mommy is sleeping.  It is time for you to sleep.  I will get you some water but this is the last water.  Then you need to go to sleep.  I'm going to sleep.  We're all going to sleep."  I needed to go back in but that bought me about 15 minutes of peace.
4. Burger King playland.  Enough said.
5. My students!!!  For all the crazy that is going on right now (with a crazy junior colleague), my students in both classes just ROCKED this semester.  I had two amazing end-of-semester experiences and truly look forward to reading their final projects.... after I've gotten some sleep.

Small Good Things

(I actually started this yesterday and I don't remember what happened...)

1. Oh, circa 2009, LG made a very quotable observation (you can probably find it in the archives) that went something like mom, Burger King is good for kids and grownups.  kids can play and grownups can work on their computers, which is what they want.  Well, we took Tiny Boy to Burger King today.  She escorted him through the habitrail thing; he had a blast; I commented on student writing.  We have entered a new era.  French fries were a bonus.
2. I fell back to sleep for an hour at about 6:20 this morning (bringing sleep total to a whopping 6 hrs), which was good, since yesterday was what I have started calling A LOST DAY.  I am thinking entirely too much about sleep.  But I found a memoir--how did I not know about this?--called Insomniac that I just requested from the library.  You know, because there's not enough unread library books on my nightstand.
3. I made this egg-pork-broccoli pseudo-omelette thing with leftovers from dinner.  Yum.

A few more from today:

1. Last night I slept most of 9 hours, minus the three (?) wakings from the boy.  I felt human today.
2. Shoveling with and pulling Tiny Boy on a sled.
3. Game night with LG after her brother went to bed.

Small Things

Somehow (i.e. actual nap for one child plus playdate for another followed by babysitter for two hours) our house is mostly tidy, I made an actual dent in the work that needs to be done this week, and I am now able to sit around watching food tv and reading Donna Tartt.  Because there's something wonderful about trashy tv and fat novels in a snow storm. 

More soon.

Small Good Things

1. After some unpleasantness in the 3-6 era (it seemed like he was waking every hour?) I brought Tiny Boy in bed with me, pointed out that it was still DARK and mommy was SLEEPING.  I rubbed his back and the next thing I knew it was 8:07.  Yay.
2. Farmer's Market goodness.  It's a walk, it's kids playing at the park, it's eating samples and chit chat with neighbors and farmers.  What's not to like?
3. I had the oven on all afternoon.  I made pumpkin pancakes and roasted veggies and potatoes and BBQ chicken in the crockpot.  Then some grains for breakfast and a soup for tomorrow.  Yum.
4. Chasing Tiny Boy around the kitchen to feed him.  Really, it was fun.  And he actually ate all kinds of things directly from my finger.
5. Kids had a babysitter this afternoon for two hours so I could grade stuff.  And as I was driving to a cafe I frequent it occurred to me that I could go to the university art museum (that I was driving past) and sit in their cafe and grade things and see art.  Man, that was good for my soul.  And then I came home and found children walking home from the park.  Good times for everyone.

Now, if only Tiny Boy would go to sleep--yes, it's 8:50 and he is still full of jibber-jabber--and stay asleep, this day might actually be perfect.

Small Good Things

I'm hoping today makes up for yesterday.  So far so good.  (Nap, little boy, nap!)

1. We took our usual Sunday walk to the farmer's market.  We bought eggplant, sweet corn, tomatoes, and some overpriced gourmet pasta.  (I am mostly not eating wheat, and they did have the gluten free sort, but I figured I should try the real stuff to see if it's worth the price before trying a version I am less likely to like.  Mostly when I don't eat wheat I just don't eat it; I don't care for "gluten free" much of anything, and many of the baked goods use soy flour, which I really can't eat.)  But anyway, it was a great trip to the market.
2. According to LG, all summer I've been saying next week we should get some food from the fancy food trailer at the market.  So we did it today.  And even Tiny Boy ate a few bites.  Yay for not cooking lunch and trying something new.
3. Thanks to nicoleandmaggie I called the crock pot company because I broke the handle off my crock pot lid, and it was getting really annoying.  This is the second (or maybe third?) time I've broken a crock pot in the exact same way, and the other times I just end up replacing the whole thing for an upgrade.  But now I have a new lid (for free!!) and in a moment I'm going to put some green beans in there and stew them up for dinner.  Yay!
4. I am having a day I like my house.  It's the sort of adorable English cottage house that people always say they like but mostly I see the mess and everything that's in disrepair (like the weeds out front and the windows we don't/can't open and the dirty floor, etc).  But today it's a perfect day to have the front door open and the sun is coming in and it's just nice.  I also, finally, organized my new desk area and find it much more workable.
5. I am feeling mostly better.  I thought I was on the verge of a sinus infection, what with the constant headache and the green snot and all, but I think it's pretty much gone now.  Hooray.

Small Things

I. Knobs

Before LG was born one of the last things I did (it might even have been the day of my induction, I can't quite remember) was to paint drawer pulls for her dresser/changer.  The knobs have been there through her early childhood and until about twenty minutes ago, when I pulled them off to paint them the color of Tiny Boy's recently painted walls.  This, after an unproductive trip to Target to *buy* new knobs before it occurred to me I could just re-purpose these.  It bothered him when I pulled them off (he kept trying to stick them back on) but I don't think he'll really care once they function as they used to.  For me, though, it's the last thing I needed to do to make his room his, which seems all kinds of important when he is (a) the second child and (b) genetically unrelated to either of us.  The least he can have is his own nursery.

II.  The Bunny Clock

I recently purchased a toddler clock for Tiny Boy, as part of Operation Wean and Sleep.  While I don't know if the clock is actually helping, I can report that he likes seeing the bunny "in the sunshine" when he gets up...and he's been sleeping most days until 7:00, which is 30 minutes later than the bunny's wake-up time.  He's still waking in the night--I just haven't been able to bring myself cut him off entirely from the nursing as it will inevitably mean crying and less sleep and, well, right now he's getting more sleep, as am I--but things are better.

III.  Nutella

Someone tell me why it took me 40 years to try Nutella?  And when I bought it, as part of the plan to fatten up my girl child, she was like oh, that is the best stuff EVER and I was like, where did you eat Nutella?  (Which was almost as interesting a conversation as when she came home from aftercare insisting that they'd fed her a burrito in a chip form, which turns out to be DORITOS which I don't think I've ever purchased, ever.)  Anyway, that stuff is awesome.  We put it on waffles this morning.

IV.  Immersion Blenders

There's a whole predictable hullabaloo about Michael Pollan's Cooked over at Laura Vanderkam's place. ( I might write a whole post on things related, mostly because I have some kind of sado-masochistic interest in Vanderkam's work and its ability to make me want to rip my hair out on an almost daily basis.)  But the very small version is this:  immersion blenders rock.  Already today I have used mine to make two different kinds of hummus, both of which are incredibly yummy.  And since Tiny Boy is willing to eat hummus in literal spoonfuls, well, amen to that.  It's so easy that even LG can use it to make herself protein-packed smoothies in the morning.

V.  Naps

Sometime around late April/early May Tiny Boy started taking naps at home that match or even out-do his naps at daycare.  Even his "short" naps these days tend to go over an hour.  All I can say is YAY for that.  Naps will be especially awesome when I am teaching in the fall, but even right now I can count on an hour in which to work, to read, to clean something, to cook something, and all that is marvelous indeed.