LG has a half-day today. She decided she wanted to go to a movie with a friend. I don't remember now if it was my idea or her idea, but the idea evolved that she and the friend would go solo. I would drop them off, be reachable by phone, pick them up when it ended. I liked this plan.
The friend's mother initially agreed and has now decided to take the afternoon off work to take them, which makes me feel all kinds of weird.
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I've been leaving LG alone for increasing amounts of time. Initially 30 minutes, then an hour, and now up to about two. She always knows how to reach me. She knows about basic safety. She locks the doors, etc.
I don't leave her alone with Tiny Boy for more than 15-20 minutes. I know she knows what to do in an emergency, but they're siblings, and he doesn't necessarily always respect her as an authority (nor does she behave like one). She does better if I PAY her in these situations.
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I did not let LG go trick or treating with friends, without friend's parent. That was dark. Rainy. Night. Outside.
I was also the parent who said, about a year ago, no LG did not have permission to watch a particular movie (I can't remember PG-13 or R) at a friend's house.
Inside a movie theater, seeing a kid's movie? How is that really any different than doing a kids program at the library? Or even going on a school trip? Isn't that safer than letting the kids take a walk, which involved crossing streets, to get a cookie from a bakery (which is something these two did together)?
I don't think the mom is wrong. But I do wonder about "normal" boundaries for kids this age, and how other parents make their decisions. Just musing...
The friend's mother initially agreed and has now decided to take the afternoon off work to take them, which makes me feel all kinds of weird.
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I've been leaving LG alone for increasing amounts of time. Initially 30 minutes, then an hour, and now up to about two. She always knows how to reach me. She knows about basic safety. She locks the doors, etc.
I don't leave her alone with Tiny Boy for more than 15-20 minutes. I know she knows what to do in an emergency, but they're siblings, and he doesn't necessarily always respect her as an authority (nor does she behave like one). She does better if I PAY her in these situations.
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I did not let LG go trick or treating with friends, without friend's parent. That was dark. Rainy. Night. Outside.
I was also the parent who said, about a year ago, no LG did not have permission to watch a particular movie (I can't remember PG-13 or R) at a friend's house.
Inside a movie theater, seeing a kid's movie? How is that really any different than doing a kids program at the library? Or even going on a school trip? Isn't that safer than letting the kids take a walk, which involved crossing streets, to get a cookie from a bakery (which is something these two did together)?
I don't think the mom is wrong. But I do wonder about "normal" boundaries for kids this age, and how other parents make their decisions. Just musing...
Who knows... maybe some interaction happened with the other kid + mom that made them rethink how independent that kid could be and has nothing to do with your parenting/appropriate boundaries. Everything I've read about pre-teens being left alone is that it critically depends on the child and the situation. So maybe something about the other child?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! But I do find it philosophically interesting to see where people make boundaries for kids and why... just different choices.
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