- LG declared she's a vegetarian. This has happened before and lasted about 30 seconds, until I browned some beef for tacos. It's lasted a few days now, mostly in the form of ignoring the protein on her plate and eating large quantities of junk when she's not home. See, it's all fine to be a vegetarian, but one needs to have vegetarian protein sources and, you know, actually eat vegetables. Last night she scrambled an egg. Fine. Not a long term solution. I'd like to respect her decision, but in practical terms this is a pain in the ass, and I think I will make her cook her own food (will that work? asking myself here). I'm about 80% grain-free, 95% gluten-free, and 100% soy-free (as is Tiny Boy. Tofu is not coming into my house)... I do like other beans, but he won't eat them. So mostly I need to come up with meals that are flexible enough to accommodate both the carnivores and the vegetarians in my household. Ugh.
- LG has continued problems waking in the morning. There is less motivation for her to get up to go to summer camp than there is to make it to orchestra on time. I, however, would like to begin work at basically the same time in the morning. What I've said is if she wants me to give her rides to places she wants to go, she needs to respect my time. But in practical terms, this doesn't really work. Nor do behavior charts, promises of coffee (decaf) or much of anything else.
- Both kids would do nothing other than watch screens if left to their own devices (completely unintentional pun, but now I sort of like it). I am having trouble establishing boundaries in a way that does not feel punitive. (This was not the case when LG was little, and she was allowed 30 minutes/day of TV.) Tiny Boy even likes 'watching' books being read on YouTube. I understand liking TV (I mean, I write about pop culture, among other things). But let's do something else, shall we? LG has to read every day, and I've said play an instrument (she does both ukulele and violin) but it's an uphill battle. Tiny Boy spends about 8.5-9 hrs/day at 'camp' running around, so really it's less of an issue....but I don't like the precedent, even as it sort of helps to have him watch something when I'm cooking dinner.
* Okay so don't really solve my problems, but if you have easy fixes, sure...
So re the vegetarian thing: I have a few friends who became vegetarians in their early teens and have remained so into their 30s and 40s. In each instance, their parents took them to the library to learn about well-balanced vegetarian meals, and their parents put the onus on them to prepare what was needed to supplement the family meals. That might be a good approach (and also serves the dual purpose of testing LG's commitment to vegetarianism).
ReplyDeleteRe screen time, I have seen online where parents require their children to do certain tasks before they can have screen time. . . like 30 minutes of reading, X minutes of outdoor play, X minutes of chores (or certain tasks) completed, and then you can have screen time. Our rule is 2 hours a day for all screens, but like you, I sometimes feel that it is perceived by our sons as punitive.
Just some thoughts/assvice. Take or leave, as you desire. :-)
S speaks wisely!
ReplyDeleteWe LOVE the New Laurel's Kitchen: http://amzn.to/2u9z1Jt And yes, she needs to be doing more cooking.
Our kids aren't as old as LG, but when they have trouble waking in the morning we start enforcing an earlier bedtime. Whether they're sleepy or not. And when they ask why, it's because they can't get up in the morning.
Similarly with screen time-- when it causes problems, we limit it. Which is why DC1 isn't allowed any screen time (unless DH or the whole family is doing something) on week nights during the school year and is only allowed 1 hour per day after all chores are done on week nights in the summer. When asked why, it's because he forgets to do his homework during the school year and during the summer he gets really grumpy if asked to do anything if he's given unlimited computer time.
That is really hard. I have loads of vegetarian ideas, but not sure how many would meet your criteria or be good for meat-lovers. And I don't think you need to be taking on the burden of learning a whole new way of cooking for a possibly fleeting whim in someone definitely old enough to be able to cook a few simple meals. Eggs and beans on the side and whatever the veg portion of what you normally make? Agree with having her take up some of the cooking, and learning about food. Are grains OK for her? Otherwise would be very very limited. All the veggie meals we make have some form of grain, though I guess you could sub a starchy veggie as the base for a curry instead of rice?
ReplyDeleteMy kids are the same with screen time and they do NOT do well with it---become more than grumpy, really angry & aggressive, when its over and we try to get them to do something else. I'm not sure what would work for a kid as old as LG, though. We have ZERO screens on weekdays unless we are traveling, and they have to earn (through appropriate behavior, and doing chores) a few hours on the weekends.
I don't think it's fair to put the burden on your child re:cooking. She's making an ethical, moral choice, not just being difficult. It's super easy to be veg, except the whole no soy thing. (If you're omitting it for allergy reasons fine, but the whole safety concern thing has been debunked). There are lots of good books out there, even in the "...for dummies" genre.
ReplyDeleteIIRC, LG is a pre-teen. She's old enough to learn how to cook even if she's not vegetarian. It's a life skill!
ReplyDeleteQuickly...yes, soy is a major allergen in my home.
ReplyDeleteLG is 13. I certainly wasn't proposing that I ask her to do all the cooking, but her part in menu planning and meal prep. I do respect her choice. But that doesn't mean I'm willing to make three separate dinners. Coming up with things that work for the various allergies and desires of all the members of my household will be difficult; there are things I can easily do, like increase the number of bean and egg dishes, use vegetarian broths for soups, and so forth. But she also needs to be educated about healthy eating, and she likes watching cooking shows, etc....not a stretch to ask her to help out.
FWIW, we went to the library after I picked her up today, and she was completely disinterested in finding a cookbook....and then proceeded to eat sausage samples at Whole Foods. I suspect that's not the end of vegetarian desires, but it did give me the opportunity to talk to her about domestic animals, the food chain, and the uses of ethically-sourced meats...
Screens in a separate comment.
Thanks for all your comments, folks; a few follow ups:
ReplyDelete1. On bedtime: going earlier really doesn't work. She's hard core adolescent and would sleep 11-11 if given the chance (which is mostly what happens on weekends).
2. Tiny Boy does better when screen time happens after dinner, not before; we need to get back into this routine. I might need to make a hard core rule that he gets one episode of whatever (right now it's Strawberry Shortcake for some inexplicable reason) and be done. LG is harder because she has access to multiple devices and does some legitimate 'work' (like film editing) that easily slides into fucking around on YouTube.
Our Kindle Fires have built in timers. Today, when kid is home sick, he can basically watch all he wants. But most days, they are limited. When the time is up, the Kindle says "all done for today." They're totally okay with that - it doesn't seem punitive to them because it's not us telling them to turn the thing off.
ReplyDelete