I guess it's hard to know what to say in situations like this, even for infertility nurses who deal with it all the time. When I found out I was pregnant, in the phone call I always thought I wanted, the nurse did not congratulate me. Even as she told me the number was a little low, we both knew it was desperately low, likely to fail. The next two times I was given numbers, which were still to my mind incredibly low, I was told that things look great, simply because the number went up on schedule. Then, when the number failed to double, things don't look great. (Really? No kidding. It was bad before; now it's really fucking abysmal.) Finally, today when the nurse told me that my beta hcg is going down, she said I'm so sorry. And even that expression of genuine sympathy struck me as all wrong: at this point, this isn't bad news; this is the best possible news in a really crappy situation. It's entirely possible I'll start a new cycle by the end of the week, after a timely consult with my RE on Tuesday.
But you know what? She still told me to keep taking progesterone until my ultrasound, just in case the lab made a mistake. Good grief.
Sounds like great news to me. I get it. And, for what's it worth, I didn't bleed until five days after I stopped progesterone.
ReplyDeleteHoping that next cycle comes quick for you!!
Thanks! Beta was at 100 yesterday, so if it keeps decreasing at roughly the same pace, should be zero'd out by the end of the week. I thought about just stopping progesterone, but I'd rather not bleed until I have my consult, to figure out how to handle next cycle...
ReplyDeletein our m/c and failed cycles, our nurse was nearly as sad as we were. they know just how wanted these babies are and, in that context, i think they truly are grief stricken.
ReplyDelete