If everything looks good at my appointment on Tuesday, that could be the last time I see Dr. Gorgeous. Feels a lot like graduating, ending one era and beginning another one.
And it occurred to me how nice it will be not to be cycling anymore. Not to have blood draws on a regular basis. Not to drive to the clinic. Not to need an IVF drug box in my closet. This outcome is, of course, related to the well-being of the embryo in my uterus. But it's also a separate and wonderfully bittersweet outcome.
For 2.5 years I have been a fertility patient. Fertility treatment has at times taken precedence over everything else in my life, including my job and my child. According to my records, in the past year alone I drove to the clinic and back 57 times. That's a lot of time. A lot of miles. A lot of gas in the car.
Not having to do that again? Well, it's a wonderfully amazing thing. Not having to do that again because there's a baby growing in my body? Even better.
But there's also no doubt that I will miss Dr. Gorgeous and Nurse of the Everchanging Nickname, whose kindness and knowledge allowed me to keep going on this journey. And if this works--please let this work--I doubt there will be a day that goes by that I don't think about them and all the people who helped my little peanut come into being. Saying thank you feels totally inadequate.
That's exactly how I feel - how I STILL feel - about my clinic. So glad everything's going so well.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations graduate.. I am so happy for you.
ReplyDeleteYes, it truly is ending one phase or era and graduating to a whole new reality. Understandable why you would have strong feelings of connection and gratitude to Dr. Gorgeous and Nurse OTEN as you have gone through so much - made so many big decisions and weathered so many ups/downs/highs/lows together! And you and Dr. G always seemed to have a unique and very caring/supportive relationship. I bet she knows how grateful you are.
ReplyDeleteI hear you. And congratulations.
ReplyDeleteIt felt so good, and yet scary, to get rid of all of my fertility drug paraphenalia and documentation. I only kept the essential docs stashed away hidden in a folder. If you searched my house now you wouldn't find any evidence of all the IF treatments save for the folder and my blog. I wanted to sort of "move on". But my gratitude is overwhelming. Unless my RE and others on her staff have been through it personally I don't think they could ever fully understand the gift the give.