Bitter Senior Colleague came over for lunch yesterday. Because she's bitter--and, well, a tad crazy--I was prepared for anything. Turns out babies bring out the best in her. And it's rather nice feeling like her colleague rather than an underling. (Where was I headed with this?) Anyway, she made a comment about how good I looked, comparing it to how horrible I looked a year ago (which she's said before)--way too thin, my color didn't look good, generally frail, blah blah. Which is pretty much exactly how I felt. She said something like I don't know what was going on, but it was like the minute you got pregnant you looked better.
Not exactly--in fact, the night in which I apparently looked so horrible last spring was actually at about 5 weeks, which was, as some of you will recall, A REALLY BAD TIME--but generally she's right. So here I am, a year out from what I think of as probably the craziest week in the DE drama--when I went to a conference in the middle of IVFing and had a million other things going on at work and with LG--and I've got a 3-month-old smiling and kicking his little feet next to me (take a nap, baby!).
That is, things are good. Not easy. And certainly not peaceful in a Pottery Barn Catalogue sort of way. But in terms of my angst level? Probably as low as it's ever been. Ever. And some of that is why I'd like to see Dr. G at least one time in a setting that is not her office, because I'm sure if I walked in there I'd just start crying again. She's literally held me through some really horrible times, but she's never seen me happy.
And now if you'll excuse me, there's a poopy diaper I need to change...
This is the kind of post that makes me happy - the rocky road to #2 sounds like it was worth it!
ReplyDeleteYes, definitely. And I will say I wonder whether I'd "appreciate" it if it hadn't been so angsty. Although I could have done without the drama of those 3 years, I'm also at a very different place in my career, which is NOT a bad thing.
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