I have not (yet) done anything stupid. Just having those weeks when the aforementioned crankiness is taking its toll. Feel the need to do something big about my job.
I talked to my former former department chair, the one who was in charge during the debacle of my tenure case (if you weren't here, check out the archives from, oh, Mar 20-Oct 2011 or so, which also coincides with pregnancy). Conversation covered topics I wanted but went in unpredictable ways, as conversation is wont to do. He suggested a pretty radical move for the program I administer; I really like it and plan to talk to my current department chair about it today. I'm also trying to schedule mtgs with senior women NOT in my department, to get their perspectives on the crazy. Moving to one of those departments is a back up plan. Looking for an entirely new job is also a backup plan, probably one I will pursue just to have potential leverage with salary*
This is all such a strange thing and largely has to do with perspective. In terms of my day to day life, it's pretty damn good. I like my students. I like my colleagues outside my major program. I'm certainly productive, and having a course release to do admin work has allowed for that. But when something as simple as scheduling a meeting raises all kinds of personal issues and drama? It's not a good situation. When aforementioned chair admits he made a mistake in hiring the person who is making my work life hell? Not a good situation. So I'll have to see how all this plays out.
*
So the cyclical sleep thing seems to go like this: Tiny Boy doesn't sleep well because he's sick. I dope him up on benadryl and he sleeps better. Then he sleeps worse. Back to something a bit more normal. Repeat. Right now we're in a "worse" phase. What I did decide in the middle of the night is that one or both of us needs a sleep study, and I'd like to start with him. And also having his iron level checked (apparently that can cause sleep issues, who knew?).
I'm exhausted. And need to get out of here to sit through meetings, followed by class, followed by more meetings, and luckily at the end of the day we're going to a friend's house. And she will feed us and my kids will play with her dog and everybody will be happy.
And maybe tomorrow I'll tell you about LG going to a daddy-daughter dance!
* I HATE that's the way the system goes, but right now I'm not making much more, if anything, than our incoming asst profs, my raise from asst to assoc was smaller than it should have been (bad economy, fucked up chair), and the only way to get a big boost is from "market value" which is to say getting another, better, job offer. Men do this all the time. The women, not so much.
I talked to my former former department chair, the one who was in charge during the debacle of my tenure case (if you weren't here, check out the archives from, oh, Mar 20-Oct 2011 or so, which also coincides with pregnancy). Conversation covered topics I wanted but went in unpredictable ways, as conversation is wont to do. He suggested a pretty radical move for the program I administer; I really like it and plan to talk to my current department chair about it today. I'm also trying to schedule mtgs with senior women NOT in my department, to get their perspectives on the crazy. Moving to one of those departments is a back up plan. Looking for an entirely new job is also a backup plan, probably one I will pursue just to have potential leverage with salary*
This is all such a strange thing and largely has to do with perspective. In terms of my day to day life, it's pretty damn good. I like my students. I like my colleagues outside my major program. I'm certainly productive, and having a course release to do admin work has allowed for that. But when something as simple as scheduling a meeting raises all kinds of personal issues and drama? It's not a good situation. When aforementioned chair admits he made a mistake in hiring the person who is making my work life hell? Not a good situation. So I'll have to see how all this plays out.
*
So the cyclical sleep thing seems to go like this: Tiny Boy doesn't sleep well because he's sick. I dope him up on benadryl and he sleeps better. Then he sleeps worse. Back to something a bit more normal. Repeat. Right now we're in a "worse" phase. What I did decide in the middle of the night is that one or both of us needs a sleep study, and I'd like to start with him. And also having his iron level checked (apparently that can cause sleep issues, who knew?).
I'm exhausted. And need to get out of here to sit through meetings, followed by class, followed by more meetings, and luckily at the end of the day we're going to a friend's house. And she will feed us and my kids will play with her dog and everybody will be happy.
And maybe tomorrow I'll tell you about LG going to a daddy-daughter dance!
* I HATE that's the way the system goes, but right now I'm not making much more, if anything, than our incoming asst profs, my raise from asst to assoc was smaller than it should have been (bad economy, fucked up chair), and the only way to get a big boost is from "market value" which is to say getting another, better, job offer. Men do this all the time. The women, not so much.
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