Because I should be finalizing syllabus, I will instead answer your questions!
1. What are your superpowers?
I don't really think I have superpowers? Once upon a time I was pretty good at doing things while pumping milk, but I owe that to a hands-free pumping bra, not any innate skill.
2. What are your biggest regrets?
I don't believe in regret. Really. All things are teaching moments. I suppose if I could go back in time and do things over, I would have responded differently to an email sent to me by my Crazy Junior Colleague (because that email seemed to be the inciting incident for the two years of drama that followed, but I also believe that had it not been that email, it would have been something else I could not have seen).
I also should have negotiated more for my starting salary and perks for my current job.
And not started TTC for kid #2 with Dr. Evil, but I suspect I wouldn't have a Tiny Boy if that was the case, and I might not have met some of you, or the Artist, so, life is its own path. I'm okay with that.
I am also sorry for/regretful for some of my behaviors as a parent (mostly of the mundane yelling at kids sort), but that doesn't feel like a single, clearly defined REGRET so much as something I constantly need to work on.
3. I'd love to know what it's like to have kids with an 8 year gap.
The good: the big one CAN be moderately helpful. Like, I am comfortable leaving my eldest (12.5) with the smallest (4.5) for fifteen minutes at a stretch while I do things like walk around the neighborhood. Even when she was 8 and he was an infant, I could trust her to hold him while I went to the bathroom, etc. She's also still kid-like enough that when we do things like go to a water park, she can play with him which gets me off the hook. When they are in the right moods, she dotes on him and he adores her.
The bad: they have different schedules, different needs, different interests. Not only different but competing (like, last night she had an orientation program that ran up until his bedtime); these sorts of issues can sometimes be solved with hired help (if single) or with a partner. I also rely heavily on parents of LG's friends to bring her home from night events (I usually drive the early shift). When they are in the wrong moods, he's annoying and she's mean.
I was not aiming for 8 year age difference but 5, but even then it was important to me to have one kid past the baby/toddler/preschool stage before having another. Definitely the right decision for me as a single parent.
anything else you want to know? Ask!
1. What are your superpowers?
I don't really think I have superpowers? Once upon a time I was pretty good at doing things while pumping milk, but I owe that to a hands-free pumping bra, not any innate skill.
2. What are your biggest regrets?
I don't believe in regret. Really. All things are teaching moments. I suppose if I could go back in time and do things over, I would have responded differently to an email sent to me by my Crazy Junior Colleague (because that email seemed to be the inciting incident for the two years of drama that followed, but I also believe that had it not been that email, it would have been something else I could not have seen).
I also should have negotiated more for my starting salary and perks for my current job.
And not started TTC for kid #2 with Dr. Evil, but I suspect I wouldn't have a Tiny Boy if that was the case, and I might not have met some of you, or the Artist, so, life is its own path. I'm okay with that.
I am also sorry for/regretful for some of my behaviors as a parent (mostly of the mundane yelling at kids sort), but that doesn't feel like a single, clearly defined REGRET so much as something I constantly need to work on.
3. I'd love to know what it's like to have kids with an 8 year gap.
The good: the big one CAN be moderately helpful. Like, I am comfortable leaving my eldest (12.5) with the smallest (4.5) for fifteen minutes at a stretch while I do things like walk around the neighborhood. Even when she was 8 and he was an infant, I could trust her to hold him while I went to the bathroom, etc. She's also still kid-like enough that when we do things like go to a water park, she can play with him which gets me off the hook. When they are in the right moods, she dotes on him and he adores her.
The bad: they have different schedules, different needs, different interests. Not only different but competing (like, last night she had an orientation program that ran up until his bedtime); these sorts of issues can sometimes be solved with hired help (if single) or with a partner. I also rely heavily on parents of LG's friends to bring her home from night events (I usually drive the early shift). When they are in the wrong moods, he's annoying and she's mean.
I was not aiming for 8 year age difference but 5, but even then it was important to me to have one kid past the baby/toddler/preschool stage before having another. Definitely the right decision for me as a single parent.
anything else you want to know? Ask!
I totally think you have superpowers! (Earthly superpowers, that is; not flying or laser eyes, although maybe you have those, too? :-) From where I am, it seems you are very focused and efficient in your work, and very productive in your creative endeavors (publishing), likely much, much more productive per hour of work than the most productive overall folks in your field (who are likely academic men with wives holding the fort or are childfree). And being a SMC of two requires some superb organizational skills and attention to detail, not to mention stamina!
ReplyDeleteI'm with XYK above (but she said it more eloquently than I ever could, as usual). You seem amazingly productive given all you have on your plate, I am always in awe when you list what you accomplish in a day of work, even if work was interrupted by kids & life!
ReplyDelete