Time Use and the Single Mama

(or, a post vaguely in response to Xyk's request for me to talk about being a single mom)

I feel like I've written about this before, but I very much appreciate the line in Brigid Schulte's (maligned in some circles) Overwhelmed, in which she characterizes single mothers as "time starved."

I'm the first to acknowledge that not all single mothers are the same.  I have resources that a mom working hourly at the Meijer does not.  But I don't have the possibility of shipping my kid off to her dad's house for a weekend, as do some of my divorced mama friends.

Yes, we all have 168 hours but the responsibilities that go into those hours, and the possibilities of outsourcing (paid or to other family) vary widely.  What I fit into my time (in the broad sense):

• doing my job (currently involves teaching, writing, editing, mentoring, event planning, advising)
• taking care of my kids (over the summer I've been dropping off around 8:30 and picking up around 4:30, sometimes later, sometimes earlier; during the academic year drop off will be 8:00 and pick up will vary, probably closer to 5:00.  And while that might be similar to many working parents, the fact is I'm responsible ALL THE TIME.  As my therapist liked to say, "if you go down, the boat sinks")
• taking care of my house (I do not do an excessive amount of domestic work.  I am contemplating outsourcing because I think I could afford it like once/month and the house could stand to be cleaner.  But also consider in this category everything that goes along with home-ownership.  We currently do not have enough towel rods in the bathroom because they fell down and drilling holes is not in my skill set.  This means hiring someone.  This is a project.  There are many projects.  They fall to the bottom of my list.  The kids do some minor chores but only with huge amounts of supervision and/or nagging)
• caring for two cats (theoretically LG is responsible for cat feeding but in practical terms she hasn't done so all summer; this will hopefully change next week, but she never does the litter box)

Despite this, I do manage to find pockets of time for leisure (I hate the word 'self-care' probably as much as Ana hates tea).  I've been getting massages about every 5-6 weeks.  I go to yoga once/week, though admittedly that is the first thing I cut when I face a time crunch (mostly because of the time of day of the particular class I attend).  I watch TV almost daily (30-45 min, before bed).  I walk 10,000 steps every day, some of that strategically and some of it because I'm running around.  I peruse a handful of blogs and glance at my twitter feed (mostly during the time I am sitting in the rocker while Tiny Boy falls asleep).   I am not now, nor have I ever been, on Face,book.  I read, which is also work (I rarely read something that doesn't make it onto a class syllabus) but still pleasure.  If I see friends, it is usually with kids in tow (other single mom friends) though rarely a lunch-date with a colleague.  I'd be more inclined at this stage to contemplate going out at night but there would need to be a really good reason.  Really good.  Because I'm an introverted homebody who doesn't sleep if she has real human contact after 9:00 pm.

I think mostly I've achieved something resembling 'balance.'  But it's still technically summer.  Talk to me in a week...