My "quick trip" to the office ended up being a nearly two-hour trip to the office. Chatted amiably with the secretarial staff, battled the copy machine (why does the damn thing turn off every time I use it?), picked up my desk copies, went through old course notes to find material for next week's lectures and discussion questions, sent assorted emails. The new folks are trickling in--new grad students hanging about in the lounge, talking about the work they need to do for next week, fresh(wo)men walking about with their parents, lugging their suitcases and such--and the old folks are sending emails about committee work and upcoming meetings. Already.
And even though I anticipate liking my courses (and my committee assignment, should I choose to keep it), I feel an old resentment emerging, bracing myself up against the institution. Too often I feel what I "need" to do (to get tenure, to earn the respect of those in the institution, to get decent teaching evals) ends in pedagogical bankrupcy. I find myself asking what it is about this profession that I value, and how it is that this institution (this JOB) too often stands in the way of, rather than supports, those values.
More on that later. For now, a trip to the grocery store.
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