- You might notice some redecorating. It was depressing the hell out of me to see IUI #14 in my timeline so I decided to delete the whole damn thing.
- I spent yesterday alternating between writing and crying and watching TV. Then I went in the shower and screamed, dosed myself with Fioricet and went to bed. Yesterday was a very very bad day. The good thing about very very bad days is I can't sustain that kind of negativity for more than 24 hrs and woke up in a fine mood.
- Thankfully, Dr. Gorgeous has been willing to entertain my next cycle questions even though beta isn't until tomorrow. It appears we've entered a new phase of our relationship, which is that she asks me what I want to do, I tell her I can't make decisions anymore so please make them for me, and then I actually listen. In this case, that would be doing a straight Menopur cycle, which was the thing I thought I never wanted to do. But the situation can't really get any worse, can it? (Don't answer that!).
- Another question into the nurses about DHEA supplementation. Experiences or opinions, anyone?
- Without LG I'm eating very erratically. Tonight I'm making a chicken salad, which is a little new and different. I'm tempted to crack out the vodka to go with the limeade, but I'll hold off for another 24 hrs. Maybe.
- LG comes home tomorrow. She left me a message on the voicemail last night which was the sweetest thing ever. I could play it all day. But I have to confess I could really use another day or maybe two to get myself together.
- Tonight: more writing, more reading, and maybe a trip to a coffee shop. It's nice to be able to leave the house after 6:00 without needing a babysitter.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Random Bullets of Updates
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Oh Gwinne, I'm so sorry that yesterday was so horrible and that you find yourself in this position. Fwiw, I think that going very negative briefly makes a lot of sense, and can be cathartic -- it allows you to wallow and wail and rant against the universe and then, well, sleep it off and move on. I hope the fine mood sticks around for a few days.
ReplyDeleteI'd go easy on the vodka. Depressant and all. Love limeade, though. Mixed with sparkling water, feels almost like a cocktail.
Be well, and go out to the coffee shop and get something yummy with whipped cream (or ice cream). Take care of yourself and treat yourself nicely. I'm thinking about you.
Yep, I agree with IrrationalEx. The freak-out episodes can leave you feeling pretty good, or at least so emotionally exhausted that you are ok for a while.
ReplyDeleteSorry granny camp was too short! One of these days LG will be all into coffee shops too...
Oh, and I wanted to say that I like what you did with your blog! I esp like your new profile pic. How'd you do that?
ReplyDeletelove & kisses, inB
Hey there - I was on DHEA for about 6 mos. resulting in the only time I was able to produce enough embryos to freeze, and one of which was chromosomally normal enough to survive a FET, even though I lost her for other reasons.
ReplyDeleteI think it CAN make a difference, but the side effects are significant (hair loss, acne like I've never had before, truly PISSY, ANGRY moods like I've never had before. I basically turned into a teenaged boy.) I don't know if I'd recommend, but it might do the trick - my clinic is the one behind all the DHEA research, and they're big believers in it. If you want their contact info & links to the research papers they've published on the subject, let me know.
So sorry this is such a miserably rough time, but glad you're getting a break from LG - as adorable as she sounds and as much as you must miss her, it's probably a good thing to be able to cut loose without her around right now. Thinking of you and wishing for only good things from here on out.
Thanks. Y'all are the best, truly.
ReplyDeleteInB: I took the pic from my email account (and I have no idea what I did to put it there in the first place!). I'm an idiot when it comes to tech stuff...