An Ode to Ambien

All jokes about Valium aside, Dr. Gorgeous was reluctant to write me a prescription for Ambien, despite the fact the first thing I told her last Thursday was I've been awake since 3:00 a.m.

Benadryl? (Can't take it if I'm on a daily antihistamine.)
Melatonin? (Tried it, doesn't work, gives me heart palpitations.)
Acupuncture? Oh, that's right, you had that acupuncturist who was starving you.

At some point she launched into a speech about sleep habits and not wanting to throw pills at a problem, but I guess saying I'm just not sleeping multiple times, in a pathetic voice, convinced her. Seriously, this is not a problem that sleepytime tea or a few yoga poses will solve; I'm literally not sleeping or sleeping about 3-4 hours per night. And when I'm not under great stress, I easily sleep--and require to be at my best--8.5-9 hours.

In the end, not only did she give me a prescription for enough to get me through retrieval; she gave me a refill. (Does that mean she thinks I'll need it?) The only other time I've used Ambien it was for maybe 7-10 days, when LG was 3.5 and my sleep cycles were messed up from her waking me (it was the same sort of thing; I'd wake at 3:30 and not fall back to sleep). I didn't think I'd end up taking it. But I did. And after the first night (I still woke up at 4:00 am), I've slept like a dead thing (or a woman on prometrium).

Last night I went to bed at 10:00 without it, fell asleep quickly and easily, and woke panicked an hour later when a cat raced across my bedroom and bounced off my chest. I couldn't calm down. I got up. I did some yoga. My heart was still racing an hour later. I finally took the damn pill and slept for the rest of the night.

Not sure what I'm going to do tonight, but I'm glad I have the choice.