What was that, Roccie? Graceandmotherfuckingcalm? Yeah, that's about where I'm at.
Not sure if it's the lupron/estrogen/pill combo. Or the headache/cold combo. Or the giant fucking follicle. Or all the work insanity.
But I'm feeling a bit, ahem, crazy. And about two steps from having Dr. Gorgeous paged on a Sunday afternoon (or using her cell phone number, which I have) because I really need to know if that thing is still on my overproductive left ovary on Thursday if that means I'm benched for another month. Because that is not acceptable. Because that would mean I might actually have to think about how fucking crappy it is to be using donor eggs at barely 38 and the fact that I'm still not pregnant. Still. Not. Pregnant.
So instead I find myself googling the various components of the tea recommended by my herbalist neighbors, only to learn that the major component is (a) not recommended during pregnancy and (b) might interfere with estrogen, so why the fuck would I even ask Dr. Gorgeous if that sounds like a good idea. Because to me it sounds like a bad idea, however well-intentioned my neighbors might be, especially if it involves drinking 3 pots of it daily.
Fucking lupron.
Fucking lupron, indeed. Seriously, the shit is the devil. Keep telling yourself - it's just the lupron. Because it is. Everything'll work out, you just have to get through the i-wanna-kill-everyones that Lupron induces. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteyes, say it loudly.. Fxxx lupron. I will be on it later next week, so please, let me know something good about lupron. You know I look to you for encouragement, so tell me something good about lupron.. ;)
ReplyDeleteOkay, my best attempt at talking you down...
ReplyDeleteUm.
Alright, I think I've got it...
No one could blame you for being crazy and fucked up over all the crap that is being thrown at you right now. It's NOT FAIR and IT SUCKS. And you may not feel like it, but you are handling all of this like a rockstar - so you just look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I am a fucking rockstar and I will get through this shit and I am going to have a beautiful, healthy baby THIS YEAR. Because despite this stupid follicle and the well-meaning neighbours and the stupid drugs, IT'S ON MOFO."
Love to you,
Maddy
I might just have to put that on a post it on my bathroom mirror (except LG can read).
ReplyDeleteNo one could blame you for being cuckoo and ridden hard over the stink that is being tossed you way right now. It is SKIPPING YOUR TURN and it TASTES LIKE LEMONS. You are Def Leppard. Look at yourself in the mirror and say "I am Freddie Mercury and I will rule this planet and I am going to have a beautiful, healthy milk savage THIS YEAR. Because despite this challenging follicle and its well meaning neighbors and the unsmart very expensive things from weird pharmacies, ITS ON MOTHER FATHER."
ReplyDeletemwah.