Gratitude

1. I am grateful for the baby (my baby) sleeping downstairs while I type;
2. for my smart (occasionally sassy) daughter;
3. for my mother, brother, and sister;
4. for A, L, M, and my friends in real life;
5. for the incredible support of the online community;
6. for my cozy house, with all its 1940s quirks and faults;
7. for chai tea and decaf coffee;
8. for living in a place with cafes again;
9. for the public library and interlibrary loan;
10. for Netflix and hulu and movies without leaving my bed;
11. for snuggly warm cats;
12. for hand-me-down baby gear, especially Tiny Boy's swing;
13. for life-saving grants and leaves of absence;
14. I am grateful that it looks like I'll have tenure and job security;
15. that I have a job that allows me to think, read, and write;
16. that I am not a fertility patient any more;
17. that I survived the past three years, more or less in tact;
18. that I live in a place, right now, that affords reproductive choice;
19. that I live in a time when donor gametes open up those choices
20. and that I am financially secure enough to pursue them;
21. that life with injectable drugs will be over in about 4 weeks;
22. that my family is healthy;
23. that my mother has been able to see us through Tiny Boy's first days;
24. that she has been willing to do countless loads of laundry and diaper changes;
25. that books still exist in print form;
26. that LG adores her brother;
27. I am grateful for small moments of quiet
28. and fiesty baby cries;
29. I am grateful to Dr. Gorgeous for knowing what she needed to say;
30. I am even more grateful that she knew how to listen;
31. I am grateful to the therapist who saw me through DE and the first half of this pregnancy;
32. to the colleagues and acquaintances who have only good wishes for this newest member of my family;
33. to the two donors who allowed my small son to come into being;
34. to my OB's office for making sure he arrived safely;
35. for ultrasounds and NSTs;
36. for PIO and steroids and lovenox;
37. for lanolin and a nursing bra that fits;
38. for all that 2011 has given me
39. and a chance at peace in my 40th year.

("I'm thankful for: my big sister!" onesie courtesy of LG)