Writing this mostly so I have a record. Still to tired to keep things in my brain.
As I recall, Tiny Boy slept in his crib from 7:20-10:00 something. He nursed, I think I put him back in the crib until around 1:00. Then he slept with me for a bit. Then back in the crib from maybe 3-5. And then with me. He nursed maybe 3-4 times (for a short period) total.
So I need to clarify when I'll keep him in bed with me and when he needs to be in the crib (my ideal, I think, would be that he's in the crib until midnight or later and then either the crib or my bed, but not both, until morning). But, knock wood, we're moving in the right direction.
*
I must say, listening to him cry (and this is a real cry, not fussing) is heartbreaking. But when you usually spend more time getting the child to sleep than he actually sleeps--and often he cries when being rocked anyway--well, it seems pretty obvious what to do.
As I recall, Tiny Boy slept in his crib from 7:20-10:00 something. He nursed, I think I put him back in the crib until around 1:00. Then he slept with me for a bit. Then back in the crib from maybe 3-5. And then with me. He nursed maybe 3-4 times (for a short period) total.
So I need to clarify when I'll keep him in bed with me and when he needs to be in the crib (my ideal, I think, would be that he's in the crib until midnight or later and then either the crib or my bed, but not both, until morning). But, knock wood, we're moving in the right direction.
*
I must say, listening to him cry (and this is a real cry, not fussing) is heartbreaking. But when you usually spend more time getting the child to sleep than he actually sleeps--and often he cries when being rocked anyway--well, it seems pretty obvious what to do.
It is really hard, isn't it? I wish there had been any path for our bean that hadn't hard, but there wasn't, contrary to what I was told by adherents to various systems who can't see that they just had good luck.
ReplyDeleteBut one can only go without sleep for so long. LG and TB need your brain working, and so do you.
hang in there mama. Your boy will get the hang of this thing called sleep. eventually.
ReplyDeleteI happen to believe that whatever you choose to do is right thing to do, no question, and anyone who tells you different doesn't know what she's talking about. I hope this approach ends up working long term. If not, well, you'll have tried pretty much everything! The only thing I can think of to say that might be helpful is that I let my child scream like she was being devoured by wolves and she's still happy, affectionate, trusting. She never held a grudge. And while it made me feel like a monster (and still does--she sometimes likes to scream bloody murder for thirty seconds at 5am, and then she falls back asleep, the bastard) there came a similar time (when nothing we were doing was helping...and when we both had food poisoning) when it was clearly the right path for us. I hope you get a good night's sleep, you brave mama.
ReplyDeleteI find myself at a wall of nevers and trying to find a ladder over them. Your little guy will learn to sleep and how he gets there will matter less than being well rested and happy. A mama that is well rested and happy is also a brilliant thing. I have high hopes that he's connecting more hours at this point. It's a wonderful thing, dear boy.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with Glumbunny - whatever you choose to do is right for your family and your situation. You can read books and listen to other people - but in the end you take what works for you and follow your family. I can share what worked for me but again, take it with a grain of salt :)
ReplyDeleteWhen SR was probably 7 months, I decided that she was waking up to breastfeed out of habit, not out of hunger. I knew this b/c she started waking up earlier and earlier after her last feeding. One night, I decided to not feed her - it was only 9:30 and she had just had her last feed at 7, and dinner before that. She wasn't thrilled that I said "mommy's here" and didn't offer my breast...but she did settle down (after crying) shortly after and did not wake up again that night. That's what worked for us and our family. I did let her cry on her own for ten minutes but then I went to her and did not feed her.
You get lots of advice as a mom - as I'm sure you know from your first go round along with your second. Just know that you are not alone out here - we sympathize so much with your sleep deprivation and deciding how to wean your baby from night nursing.