I'm sad. Maybe it's the collective sadness of the blogosphere and the weight of the summer rolled into one, but I'm sad.
Storms last night--I slept badly, with LG rolling at my back. I had a dream we were in a supermarket that filled with water, waist high, and I couldn't find LG. I woke, panicked that she'd drowned. Then a dream the nurse called me with a positive beta. I don't like progesterone dreams.
Emails from two former students today. Fabulous students, two of the best I've ever worked with, touching base about life post-graduation. It's a good reminder of that life I've mostly been ignoring this summer. But I'm still sad.
I find myself thinking vague thoughts about when to schedule the next IVF attempt. Which would be easiest to schedule appointments, which would be easiest in terms of potential maternity leave. The whole thing terrifies me. I have no backup plan.
I'm not sure what to do with myself.
Oh sweetie... I think the sadness is going around... I've got some of that in my life too...
ReplyDeleteSending you warm thoughts and hoping that the Collective Blogosphere will move from sadness into joy, and that we all will have positive outcomes.