Inspiration, Hope

Once or twice a semester there's a visiting writer on campus, and it generally falls on me and Crazy Senior Colleague (perhaps I've given her a different nickname?) to shepherd said writer around for a day or two, bringing her/him to lunch and dinner, escorting him/her around campus, to and from the airport, and so on. Usually these writers are older and/or male and, while often charming, they do things like forget my name (I have a signed copy of a book that's not addressed to me!). Anyway, yesterday was Visiting Writer Day. This particular visiting writer was younger and closer in professional status to me, and we just hit it off great. I came away from the day with a plan, an actual plan, about what shorter writing projects to prioritize and finish up. It's going to take work, the kind of reshaping, rethinking work that I don't particularly like. (I'm very good at the beginnings and endings of projects...it's the messy middle that I struggle with.) I think it's realistic that one of these three projects could be finished and sent somewhere for review by the end of the semester, and that another could be ready to go by the time spring semester hits.

I haven't felt this good about work in a long time. And it's suprising, because usually visiting writers make me feel even smaller and less accomplished than I am. Thank you, Visiting Writer, for your kind words and thoughtfulnes. I hope we keep in touch.

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Generally, I'm feeling pretty good. I suppose that's not suprising, because even if I'm in a major year long funk, I can't sustain negative energy for very long. That pissy, hating-infertility-and- the-world place I was in last week is largely spent. So many people, from my acupuncturist to Visiting Writer to my students, have commented on how calm and calming I am. I don't often feel that way, but it's nice to know that others get good energy from me. I'm feeling hopeful about my appointment on Tuesday, and kicking off this IUI cycle, two weeks late. I'm thinking about what Dr. Gorgeous said, when I told her I wasn't going to cycle in January and February, that hopefully I'll be gestating then. This week, I'm feeling like anything could happen.