In Case You Were Wondering

No, I have not peed on a stick.

No, I have no plans to pee on a stick. Let's get real: I've literally bet $5300 that this cycle will fail.

Yes, I'm somewhat of a basket case at present. Although an hour ago I was happily drinking my hot chocolate and reading for class.

Yes, this is somewhat typical of me at 9dpo.

Yes, I'm more than moderately irritated at anyone who has asked me anything about my current cycle or my state of mind.

Yes, both expressions of sympathy and expressions of hope have the capacity to piss me off, so it's better just to keep your mouth shut.

Yes, I've already contemplated the absolute worst case scenario which I will not share here, because you know then it will come true.

Yes, I realize that the worst case scenario I've contemplated is not actually the worst case scenario. If it can get worse, it usually does.

No, there is not an herbal tea in the world that will make me feel better. But if you have a magic potion that will make me fall asleep and wake up in July, pregnant and tenured, please send it my way.