So what my therapy app't the other day made abundantly clear is that I go from zen to rage in about 30 seconds flat.
Today's trigger: my acupuncturist actually had the gall to suggest that I undergo a "cleanse" during my 5 weeks between pg test and DE retrieval, which would involve a "medical food" (the last time I used the term "medical food" it was when I was trying to get insurance to cover LG's nasty prescription-only formula). Amino-acid based nutrition? Fuck that. I told her, gently, that I really couldn't do anything more than I already am in terms of diet (well, I could not be drinking wine and decaf this week, but generally you get the point). I have cut wheat, dairy, soy, eggs, corn, beef, sugar, tomatoes, eggplant, citrus, coffee and black teas, and I'm sure there are things I'm leaving out. Recent self-destructive behavior aside, I've done that pretty well for months. I weigh **97** pounds. And she's seriously trying to tell me that the magic cure for my infertility is a liver detox?
I need to figure out what this rage is all about. It was like she poked every raw spot on my body. I see a black, bloody painting in my future. And a (passive-agressive) glass of red wine.
I think that would have thrown me into a rage because it kind of implies that you aren't yet doing all that you can. AND THAT IS SO NOT TRUE.
ReplyDeleteHow short are you Gwinne? 97 pounds sounds so small... has all this dietary stuff sucked all the padding off of you?!
Yes, how tall are you? I might have to go over and give you IV fluids (my kind of detox).. just kidding.
ReplyDeleteI'm only 5 feet 1/2 inch, so it's not likely I'm massively underweight. But it's still not good.
ReplyDeleteI think your rage is due to your aversion to idiocy. If you could only get over that, I think you'd be very calm all the time!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Maddy
Oh, Maddy, you crack me up!!! Actually A. tells me the same thing all the time; that I'd be much happier if I were stupid :)
ReplyDeleteI want to smack your acupuncturist for even suggesting that more deprivation is the answer for you.
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing WAAY more than most would to get your body ready, and being told that you aren't doing enough is fucking infuriating (I'm annoyed and it's not even me!).
Yes -- being stupid would be easier. Harder to tolerate the incompetence and foolishness when you can see it so easily. Paint away! You are right to be so annoyed!
what inBetween said...
ReplyDeletetime to slap the acupuncturist