It's Ba-ack

I had my follow-up with the hematologist yesterday.  She was quite happy with my lab results--the only thing that's unclear is if my homocysteine level is normal because it's normal or because I'm on massive B-vitamin supplements--but gave me a look when I told her The Boy is only ~25th percentile.  My OB has said she won't worry until/unless he hits the 10th.  The question, of course, is if he's small not because he's genetically programmed to be small but because of uterine environment; the concern with APA (which has haunted my medical history since 2003 but seems like it might not be an issue now?), at least from the fetal side of things, is IUGR.  Small blood clots in the placenta keep it from functioning adequately; therefore women with APA take aspirin and Lovenox to keep such clots from forming.  She said she'd talk with my OB--I guess they're friends--but is recommending I stay on Lovenox until 36ish weeks and then nothing (I was on heparin with LG until 6 weeks postpartum).  The logic is that there's really no evidence I'm at increased risk of stroke, based on my history, and by 36 weeks The Boy should be okay.  The fact that my blood work basically shows nothing to be concerned about and she'd still like me on anticoagulants for another 6-7 weeks has me a bit (okay, more than that) freaked out.

Of course it's about that time, right?

I'm not due for another OB visit for another two weeks, which will also be a growth ultrasound.  I don't know if I can handle that.  I mean, I wasn't keen on starting NSTs this early, but this baby is small (smaller than LG, who would have been close to the 50th percentile if actually full term) and he really doesn't move a lot.  Or at least not as much as I think he should (if I do kick counts as I was instructed, he does wiggle sufficiently in a 1 hr window).  And you know breech babies are more likely to have birth defects (yes, I know, step away from Dr. Google)?  And I'm still haunted by Dr. G's comment that the sac problem really could mean trouble later in pregnancy; granted, the perinatologist was not concerned, but it's still hard for me to accept that he's  fine after seeing the odds that there was a 90% (or higher) chance we wouldn't make it out of the first trimester.  Add all that to yet another person looking absolutely shocked to find out that I'm due in November because I'm so small and, well, here we are again.

Yes, folks, the reign of terror has returned.