I.
So I assume some of you have heard about the controversy about an AU Professor breastfeeding in class. The whole thing strikes me as problematic on multiple levels (and I should say by "whole thing" I do not mean solely Professor Pine's actions but also the students' and the discussion surrounding it) but it's started me thinking about the contexts in which I breastfeed Tiny Boy, as well as the occasions when I've brought my children to campus.
About the controversy (much of which has been said elsewhere): (1) I do think choosing to bring a sick infant and nurse a sick infant in class was a DUMB thing to do, and I can't really imagine making that choice myself; that said (2) the academic and cultural climate in which she sees that as her ONLY choice is highly problematic. I mean really...if sick childcare existed at her institution, she wouldn't have considered that option (I hope). But (3) really....if students were offended, it seems they should have spoken with Pine first, then someone in Pine's department, NOT contacted the school newspaper. (4) It is true that the very problem that Pine ran into speaks volumes for the need for the kind of feminist anthropology class she was teaching in the first place.
And, (5) really, no I don't think infants, even healthy ones, belong in the classroom but see #2; Pine seems to believe that was a better option for her career than cancelling class, and that's mind-boggling but perhaps accurate. I'm sure I had more to say about all this but Tiny Boy is yelling and needs to be rescued from the crib.
II.
I've been nursing Tiny Boy at daycare, usually in the morning and again when I pick him up. I've also nursed him on an airplane, in restaurants, in front of female colleagues (at my house or theirs, NOT on campus), the children's department at the library and museum, at parks and probably a bunch of other places I can't recall. I don't wear a giant cover up like my sister in law, mostly because if people find breastfeeding sexual, well, they're fucked up and fuck them, but also because Tiny Boy would draw MORE attention to the act by flailing about under all that fabric. I'm not squeamish about it. But nor am I going to do it in front of students or my department chair or while giving a lecture; really, I can't talk on the phone and nurse.
I don't believe in a hard and fast separation of professional and home life, especially as a single mama who teaches gender stuff. I have brought LG to class, for instance (but NOT until she was 5, and I had no other choice, and I was reasonably sure she wouldn't interrupt, and only in very particular contexts [like when students are mostly working in groups anyway]). I have also cancelled class, and not shown up for meetings, because my kid was sick, and I didn't really worry about the fallout for my career. During one particularly bad semester (my first here year, when LG was under 2, ended up with ear tubes and then a trip to the cardiologist), she was sick on three work days; by the third, when it would have meant we were too far behind, I asked a colleague to sub. I figure if my students are allowed to miss a few days because they are sick, well, in a real emergency so can I. Because if my kid is sick enough to stay home, chances are we're at the doctor, or having a chest x-ray, or I've gotten too sick to go to school too.
But bringing a sick baby to school? Wouldn't consider it. Bringing a healthy baby to class? Wouldn't consider that either. But I sure would (and have) brought him to meetings with students in my own office while I'm on leave. And waited, of course, until they left, and then closed the door, to nurse him. Students don't need to see my breasts. Even if I really need them to know (a) that I'm human, (b) women can work and have kids, and (c) sometimes that presents challenges.
III.
I am not sure how to go about (and when to go about) weaning Tiny Boy. I am currently in uncharted breastfeeding territory, as I stopped nursing LG exclusively at 7 mo and completely by 9.5 mo, as the combination of her allergies and my weight loss really made continuing untenable. (I am about 103 lbs now, which was my weight pre-ttc and probably too low for a nursing mama; I was only 93 lbs then, despite eating pretty much nonstop). I have no real desire to wean him at some arbitrary cut off like 1 year, but I also know that he needs to start (at some point) eating more food and less me. Seems to me that perhaps I stop pumping at some point around one year and let him drink (cow, soy, whatever) milk when he's not with me. But how to do that? At what point is he just done? For how much longer should he be tethered to me by the breasts?
He's going with me (well, the whole family is) to a conference next month, mostly for this reason. I'll probably bring them pump so I can leave him with my mom for chunks of time, but that too is time away from the conference (which is, not ironically, on motherhood), the first conference I've attended since the week before retrieval (anyone remember THAT craziness?!).
I have no problem nursing a toddler, especially at bedtime. But I'm guessing that soon even I won't feel comfortable nursing him in public, as he's old enough already to signal his desire to nurse by pulling down the front of my shirt. And, really, in the end, how different is that from the situation Adrienne Pine found herself in?
Just musing. Would love to hear what y'all think about this. And now we will continue on our fake walk. The living room is looking particularly lovely today...
So I assume some of you have heard about the controversy about an AU Professor breastfeeding in class. The whole thing strikes me as problematic on multiple levels (and I should say by "whole thing" I do not mean solely Professor Pine's actions but also the students' and the discussion surrounding it) but it's started me thinking about the contexts in which I breastfeed Tiny Boy, as well as the occasions when I've brought my children to campus.
About the controversy (much of which has been said elsewhere): (1) I do think choosing to bring a sick infant and nurse a sick infant in class was a DUMB thing to do, and I can't really imagine making that choice myself; that said (2) the academic and cultural climate in which she sees that as her ONLY choice is highly problematic. I mean really...if sick childcare existed at her institution, she wouldn't have considered that option (I hope). But (3) really....if students were offended, it seems they should have spoken with Pine first, then someone in Pine's department, NOT contacted the school newspaper. (4) It is true that the very problem that Pine ran into speaks volumes for the need for the kind of feminist anthropology class she was teaching in the first place.
And, (5) really, no I don't think infants, even healthy ones, belong in the classroom but see #2; Pine seems to believe that was a better option for her career than cancelling class, and that's mind-boggling but perhaps accurate. I'm sure I had more to say about all this but Tiny Boy is yelling and needs to be rescued from the crib.
II.
I've been nursing Tiny Boy at daycare, usually in the morning and again when I pick him up. I've also nursed him on an airplane, in restaurants, in front of female colleagues (at my house or theirs, NOT on campus), the children's department at the library and museum, at parks and probably a bunch of other places I can't recall. I don't wear a giant cover up like my sister in law, mostly because if people find breastfeeding sexual, well, they're fucked up and fuck them, but also because Tiny Boy would draw MORE attention to the act by flailing about under all that fabric. I'm not squeamish about it. But nor am I going to do it in front of students or my department chair or while giving a lecture; really, I can't talk on the phone and nurse.
I don't believe in a hard and fast separation of professional and home life, especially as a single mama who teaches gender stuff. I have brought LG to class, for instance (but NOT until she was 5, and I had no other choice, and I was reasonably sure she wouldn't interrupt, and only in very particular contexts [like when students are mostly working in groups anyway]). I have also cancelled class, and not shown up for meetings, because my kid was sick, and I didn't really worry about the fallout for my career. During one particularly bad semester (my first here year, when LG was under 2, ended up with ear tubes and then a trip to the cardiologist), she was sick on three work days; by the third, when it would have meant we were too far behind, I asked a colleague to sub. I figure if my students are allowed to miss a few days because they are sick, well, in a real emergency so can I. Because if my kid is sick enough to stay home, chances are we're at the doctor, or having a chest x-ray, or I've gotten too sick to go to school too.
But bringing a sick baby to school? Wouldn't consider it. Bringing a healthy baby to class? Wouldn't consider that either. But I sure would (and have) brought him to meetings with students in my own office while I'm on leave. And waited, of course, until they left, and then closed the door, to nurse him. Students don't need to see my breasts. Even if I really need them to know (a) that I'm human, (b) women can work and have kids, and (c) sometimes that presents challenges.
III.
I am not sure how to go about (and when to go about) weaning Tiny Boy. I am currently in uncharted breastfeeding territory, as I stopped nursing LG exclusively at 7 mo and completely by 9.5 mo, as the combination of her allergies and my weight loss really made continuing untenable. (I am about 103 lbs now, which was my weight pre-ttc and probably too low for a nursing mama; I was only 93 lbs then, despite eating pretty much nonstop). I have no real desire to wean him at some arbitrary cut off like 1 year, but I also know that he needs to start (at some point) eating more food and less me. Seems to me that perhaps I stop pumping at some point around one year and let him drink (cow, soy, whatever) milk when he's not with me. But how to do that? At what point is he just done? For how much longer should he be tethered to me by the breasts?
He's going with me (well, the whole family is) to a conference next month, mostly for this reason. I'll probably bring them pump so I can leave him with my mom for chunks of time, but that too is time away from the conference (which is, not ironically, on motherhood), the first conference I've attended since the week before retrieval (anyone remember THAT craziness?!).
I have no problem nursing a toddler, especially at bedtime. But I'm guessing that soon even I won't feel comfortable nursing him in public, as he's old enough already to signal his desire to nurse by pulling down the front of my shirt. And, really, in the end, how different is that from the situation Adrienne Pine found herself in?
Just musing. Would love to hear what y'all think about this. And now we will continue on our fake walk. The living room is looking particularly lovely today...
"Seems to me that perhaps I stop pumping at some point around one year and let him drink (cow, soy, whatever) milk when he's not with me. But how to do that? At what point is he just done? For how much longer should he be tethered to me by the breasts?"
ReplyDeleteThis part is really easy. You mix your pumped milk with cow milk and gradually increase the ratio of cow milk to pumped milk until it is all cow milk.
In terms of when you're just done, if you let him wean on his own it'll be sometime between age 2 and age 4, most likely. Though nursing a 2-4 year old is much different than nursing an infant, it means once or twice a day or even once or twice a week... before bed or when the child is sick or has gotten hurt. (And then one day, he just forgets how.) You can delay a toddler and tell him no, so you're no longer tethered even if you're still nursing. When *should* he be done is a question that can only be decided between the two of you.
I stopped pumping at work when BlueEyes was 13 months (he's now 14 months), and he drinks a tiny bit of whole milk at the daycare, but mostly drinks at night and when he wakes up with me. (we tried the diluting milk with whole milk but in the end he decided that he didn't really like whole milk anyway...)
ReplyDeleteI decided to see when he weans himself (or when he's old enough to talk about it), and for now that's fine. He usually falls asleep while nursing at night and that's very convenient I think. The only thing I'm trying to teach him is to sign when he wants to nurse instead of undress me in public... When he does that I tell him that he can have a hug now and drink milk later when we're home. I used to be fine with nursing in public, but nowadays he'll nurse for a second and then be distracted and it's very hard to do that in a sort of discrete way.
I hope you will find a way that works for you both!
"he just forgets how" Really? Interesting...
ReplyDelete