I am astonished by what happened in Ferguson yesterday. And yet not. But it is so hard to live in a world where violence and injustice and racism are just part of the norm. I don't accept that. I have to.
*
Today there was a bomb threat on campus. Quickly determined to be a hoax, and not immediately threatening enough to be frightened, in the way that I was when a gunman opened fire last summer at the pharmacy close to my house and my kids' schools were on lockdown for hours. But enough that my students--the few that showed up on this last class before Thanksgiving--wanted to go home.
In the hour I would have spent teaching, I called Dr. Boy. We have not been a couple in any way in many years, yet he's the person I go to in moments of crisis. He also happens to be a black man. It was him I was thinking of when I heard about Ferguson yesterday.
*
He asked me about how my books are doing. These books published by small presses that haven't really been reviewed yet. But I have received so many kind emails and notes. Long lost ones reconnecting. Other SMCs. I agreed, today, to do a reading and workshop at Dr. Gorgeous's place in a few weeks. The thought of reading some of that stuff in front of her I find absolutely nauseating, more revealing than any procedure in which her hand was up in my uterus. But it's also absolutely the right place for me to be. That is, and always will be, my community.
*
Today there was a bomb threat on campus. Quickly determined to be a hoax, and not immediately threatening enough to be frightened, in the way that I was when a gunman opened fire last summer at the pharmacy close to my house and my kids' schools were on lockdown for hours. But enough that my students--the few that showed up on this last class before Thanksgiving--wanted to go home.
In the hour I would have spent teaching, I called Dr. Boy. We have not been a couple in any way in many years, yet he's the person I go to in moments of crisis. He also happens to be a black man. It was him I was thinking of when I heard about Ferguson yesterday.
*
He asked me about how my books are doing. These books published by small presses that haven't really been reviewed yet. But I have received so many kind emails and notes. Long lost ones reconnecting. Other SMCs. I agreed, today, to do a reading and workshop at Dr. Gorgeous's place in a few weeks. The thought of reading some of that stuff in front of her I find absolutely nauseating, more revealing than any procedure in which her hand was up in my uterus. But it's also absolutely the right place for me to be. That is, and always will be, my community.
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