Happiness

So I went from reading zen of infertility books to reading self-help books on happiness and buddhism. While I can't help but feel that 90% of such reading is incredibly hokey, I also keep having these "lightbulb" moments when it just makes sense. It's helping me remember The Year of Grace plan that I had back in January.

Right now, this moment, I feel very much at peace with my decision to do IVF. But I also I feel very much at peace with my decision to stop doing medicated/monitored cycles come fall. Because the truth is, doing fertility treatment is not making me happy. While the end result might, there's no question that the process isn't good for my health, my sanity, my job, or my daughter.

I'm not giving up. But I am taking my life back.