Acupuncturist #1 is very skilled with the needles (she's also an RN), very chatty and nice. We have a really good rapport. Her practice is thriving and full, but she's always on time. Her treatments have helped, insofar as I'm calmer, my body temperature is up, and generally feel better after I've seen her. (Not always. Sometimes I think I'm on the table too long and end up feeling overcooked.) She works with fertility patients, including some of Dr. Gorgeous's, but fertility really isn't her thing, and she doesn't seem particularly systematic or knowledgeable about it.
On the other hand, acupuncturist #2 works in a larger "holistic medicine" office, with a receptionist and DOs and all kinds of folks. Her sense of time is much like Dr. Gorgeous's, which is to say, I'm always there much longer than I anticipate. Fertility is a major specialization of hers (she's trained with Randine Lewis), so I'm pretty confident about what she's doing with the needles, stimulating particular points and so on. But. But. But. As I've said, she's dogmatic, in this touchy-feely, new-agey sort of way. She makes me feel combative, even as she's talking about making my body more "receptive" and "open." She has many good tangible suggestions (taking royal jelly, testing DHEA, tinkering with diet, particular yoga poses, etc) but when she veers off into meditation and spirituality (not in exact words, but in implication), I get annoyed, shut down, etc. As A. told me, I shouldn't be paying her to stress me out. What I want to say when I'm there is just stick the needles in me and shut the fuck up (but that's not very open or receptive now, is it?).
What would you do? (Seriously) Go back to #1, email/talk to #2 about these issues, bail on acupuncture altogether, or something else I haven't thought of...
Oh, this is a tough one...Tough, tough, tough. Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, I think I would first try to talk to #2 and tell her that I value her expertise in treating fertility but when she talks about this or that I feel stressed. How she responds to this would help me make my decision about whether to stay or not - if she's defensive and difficult, bye-bye, but if she responds well to my concern and can accommodate my need for a heavy on the tangible and easy on the new agey approach, I would stay with her. At least that's what I think I would do.
Love,
Maddy
P.S. Thank you so much for offering me your Menopur - I'm afraid I might not get it in time, unless you happen to be in Buffalo? :-)
Maddy...nope, nowhere near Buffalo. But let me know if you need it for the future. I've got maybe 2 or 3 (I'd need to check) unopened boxes of the stuff and I've already donated much to Dr. Gorgeous. Would rather this goes to someone in the community I "know"...
ReplyDeleteI will probably email her, because that's a form that I won't get agitated in.
I agree email/talk to #2. Her expertise in fertility might be helpful. Her reaction to your issues might help you make a decision.
ReplyDeleteA question: can I ask why the discussion on meditation makes you stressed? There are studies that show the method by that Harvard group that uses mindfulness meditation has great success rates.
I am not too into the new-agey thing either and meditation kind of stuff just makes me uncomfortable when discussed relative to ME. So, try the email to #2; that sounds like a good idea. Any chance you could ask around and find a #3 to try?
ReplyDeleteMommieV, that's a good question, and I can't pinpoint it exactly, other than to say it has something to do with her approach. I'm not opposed to meditation as a practice--in fact, I've gone through periods that I *do* meditate, though now isn't one of them. And, like I said, she actually hasn't used the word "meditation".... but there's something about all the talk about making myself "open" and "creating space" to conceive that strikes me, as someone whose done TWO YEARS of hardcore fertility treatment, as incredibly naive and dismissive. I've gone into cycles feeling very positive (though not recently) and very negative, and, obviously, my attitude has absolutely nothing to do with the result... From what I understand, though, the positive benefits of mindfulness mediatation has to do with its stress-relieving qualities, which is something I deal with in other ways, like yoga, for the most part.
ReplyDeleteInB, no. There's already way too many players in this game for me. I need to make it work with one of these two or just stop.
Okay. So I just emailed Acu #2. Here's what I wrote:
ReplyDelete"Hi, [Acu #2], I hope you’re having a good weekend so far. I wanted to let you know passed along your contact information to my neighbor [the herbalist] whom I mentioned yesterday. If you’d prefer, you can reach her at [obviously not including!].
I also wanted to convey an apology of sorts. I came away from our session yesterday feeling fairly agitated, and I suspect I’m coming across as combative and unreceptive. Some of the “conflict”--I think that’s the word you used--is situational, in that I really don’t do well in situations when I need to talk about infertility and the more esoteric/spiritual aspects of treatment. (I had a Fertile Soul guided meditation CD, for instance, and couldn’t get through it because I found it too stressful and upsetting.) That is, while I’m very grateful for the practical advice you’ve given (picked up some royal jelly this morning!) and am eager to try herbs, I think I’d get more benefit from acupuncture if I could go into a session in a calmer state. When I’m not talking about infertility, I’m actually pretty balanced in most of my day-to-day life. But after doing 19 (?) IUI/IVF cycles, a year of acupuncture, and all kinds of stress-reduction practices, I have very little faith that anything I do will result in a pregnancy. That puts me in a very odd place, simultaneously pursuing “unstimulated” IUIs for a number of months while also gearing up for a donor egg cycle (I have a consult out-of-state next week). Anyway, I hope you can understand where I’m coming from."
Oooh, that's a great email in my opinion. really makes clear where you are coming from and I think the request is clear too: that you welcome practical advice/input but don't want to talk about esoteric/spiritual aspects of infertility, as that stresses you out. hope she responds receptively and you can continue your work with her.
ReplyDeleteYour day yesterday sounds sooo fabulous! I'd love a day like that! - Kristina