A Moment of Clarity

If this IVF doesn't work, either because it never gets off the ground or because it fails, I think I'm done with the high tech approach.

Now, granted, given my lack of male partner, I will never be one of those women who stops IVF and gets knocked up. But the more I look at my calendar and think about this process...it's not working WITH my body. It is beating my body into submission. I hope, truly, this is a conversation I will never need to have with Dr. Gorgeous. And I'm not sure what form the alternative would take (well, I do have some ideas, but I don't feel like going into them), or how I'll deal with the lack of my current donor.

All things considered, IVF isn't helping me get pregnant faster. I could have done 4 IUIs--one of which might have worked, probably would have worked--in the space of these two IVF attempts. I'm not regretting the attempt. And I'm not regretting my decision to move forward with this second round. But I truly think this is it, at least for a long while.


(This is what happens when a girl gets a fertility meditation CD in the mail. I should have just watched another episode of Weeds and opened a bottle of wine. Goodnight, y'all)