This Whole Motherhood/Work Thing

So this whole motherhood/work thing is kicking my ass this week, and I'm not even really "full time" yet.  Still, I've had the baby in the office, attending meetings, three days this week.  That means his fledgling schedule is off, which makes him more likely to be crabby, which makes me more likely to be crabby.  But just being at the office, needing to talk to people, is apparently a lot when you are (a) introverted and (b) haven't been dealing with people (colleagues/students) for the most part since October.  And mostly it's not actual work, it's just crisis management.  So by the time yesterday afternoon rolled around, I had a predictable I've-been-to-the-office headache and just holed up with Tiny Boy in bed.

And that's the other thing.  I am not one of those moms who expects her three-month-old to "sleep through the night."  I recognize that 11-12 pound people need to eat frequently, especially when they are still catching up from being growth restricted 5 pound people and they have reflux, which means they can't take very much milk at once.  However...I'm failing to see why Tiny Boy is sleeping worse now than he did when he was smaller.  Every night looks something like this, though the times vary:  40 minute stretch of sleep, easily rocked back; 3-4 hours, nursed; 2 hrs, nursed; 2 hrs nursed; until 3-5 am, at which time he requires significant intervention (diaper, rocking chair, etc) and really never falls back into a decent sleep; possibly another 40 min-1.5 hrs, depending (i.e. this morning he fidgeted and fussed and nursed what seemed like nonstop from 3-5, I diapered him and played with him at 5:30, rocked him back to sleep around 6:15, woke for the morning at 7:15 and was down for his nap by 8:30 (danger Will Robinson, it is coming up on the 40 minute mark and you have squandered a nap blogging!).  I don't mind the nursing every 2 hrs, because generally I don't really wake up and often fall asleep with him in my arms; it's the 3-5 flailing about that's making me nuts, as the only way to stop him is feeding him, but he clearly doesn't need food.  If he's swaddled, I unswaddle him, and vice versa, but nothing really makes him stop thrashing, and if he's not swaddled, I frequently get punched in the left eye.

That's a lot of whining.  Just really can't figure out what to do with him at that time when he is clearly not ready to be awake for the day but thinks he is, and he also can't get himself back to sleep.

At least today our only trip out of the house will involve the grocery store (we have no rice milk or fruit for LG's lunch and last night I was so hungry that I actually made myself a plate of spaghetti, which I don't even really like or want to eat, at 9:00 pm) and to drop off BBQ to LG's school (you know, because that's what you do when you do a report on Texas.  ahem).

Sigh.