I think I might have written this same post, like, a month ago.
Things that seem better:
Things that still suck:
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And, as an addendum to my "delurk" request...if there are subjects or questions you'd like me to blog about in my copious spare time (hahahaha), please put them in the comments.
Things that seem better:
- There are some nights Tiny Boy doesn't wake after the first 40 minutes he's been asleep. Yesterday (bad nap day + rabies shot) he was out for three hours. These happenings give me hope that at some point he might actually be able to sleep.
- His early morning thrashing seems to disturb me more than it does him. (Tried the crib, but that he wouldn't tolerate.)
Things that still suck:
- Frequently I don't fall back to sleep after the 3:00 or 4:00 am rocking chair stint. Basically 3:00 am until whenever he wakes for the day is horrible.
- He uses me as a human pacifier. I think he would sleep if I kept a breast in his mouth all night long. But at a certain point, sitting in the rocking chair is preferable to that. Because it's not really nursing but this annoying half-sucking that makes me want to rip my hair out. Or, really, my nipples.
- The naps. Naps are actually worse. Now instead of 4 40-minute naps, or those lovely days of 2 40-minute naps + one normal nap, we seem to have 30 30-minute naps. If I'm lucky. Yesterday his morning "nap" consisted of 15 minutes in the rocking chair and 15 minutes attached to me by the breast. My delusions of having time in the afternoons to do anything aside, I've got a massively overtired kid. Yeah, he smiles, but he is T.I.R.E.D.
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And, as an addendum to my "delurk" request...if there are subjects or questions you'd like me to blog about in my copious spare time (hahahaha), please put them in the comments.
De-lurking here. I have 2 kids under 4. I've spent so many hours trying to find answers to their sleep problems. Mommy blogs are frustrating, b/c those kids always sleep so much longer than mine. Books are worse, b/c the"solutions" they give never account for contingencies. LIke illness, or what if letting baby cry it out means waking his older sister?
ReplyDeleteSo I'm afraid I have no solutions for you, but much, much sympathy. I read your blog because I share many of your parenting interests, but also because I'm an academic too, and find your work effort inspiring.
UGH. I hear you on the booby call. It's funny ... my N. is now weaned, and she STILL thinks that it's time for milk every 5 minutes. She runs into the kitchen, muttering "muk.muk.muk.muk."
ReplyDeleteI have no useful things to say. Wishing you SLEEP.
ej, thanks for delurking! I hear you on the sleep books; they sound so great in theory but in practical terms NEVER work with my kids.
ReplyDeletej...does she want milk in a cup or to nurse?
You really have my empathy here, as this sounds pretty much like both of my sons' early sleep habits. It nearly drove me to the point of insanity with #1 Son, since all I had to go on was those damned sleep books, which made me believe (a) I must be doing something terribly wrong, and/or (b) there must be something terribly wrong with my baby. Since it turned out that the only way he'd begin to nap AT ALL was with boob in mouth, and the only way to get him past the 40-minute hump to another sleep cycle was with re-application of boob, I finally just gave up and napped with him. (That mostly meant lying down with him and reading during times boob was not required.) Efforts to get him to soothe himself, or to cry it out, or even just trying to rock him in a dark room, did not work. The only nap alternative I had was long walks with the stroller, which did lull him to sleep, though I had to keep walking to prolong the sleep. I recall how truly desperate I felt, in large part because of the implicit and explicit judgment I got from others--my mother in particular--who just didn't get it.
ReplyDeleteIt was only later that I learned others had, indeed, faced similar sleep challenges. The only consolations I got during this time were the extra reading time, the exercise from hours of strolling, and occasional observations from sympathetic friends or bystanders that the ones who don't sleep well often turn out to be the smarties. That last one really did turn out to be true with my now-seven-year old, who learned to read at three and is frighteningly good at math. Must have gotten that talent from the egg donor! He also still has trouble getting to sleep at night (we use melatonin) but then sleeps soundly for 10 hours.
I won't even get into the separate sleep challenges with #2 Son, since your boy sounds more like #1 anyway. All I can really say is that I really do know what this feels like, you are not the only one by any means, and about all you can do is give him what he needs and try to get through this time to something better.
Ugh the whole not sleeping thing is hard. BlueEyes also rarely ever naps longer than 45 min, and usually naps attached to me either nursing or in a sling.
ReplyDeleteI've gotten pretty good at sleeping while nursing which to me was the solution. I just don't look at the clock anymore at night and just nurse him whenever he wants. And now at 11 months he's starting to sleep longer stretches and nurse less. I hope it gets better for you soon and until then I've found that acceptance takes much less energy then trying to do something about it.
InBaby...glad you've found something that works for you and your kiddo right now. I guess I'm curious...about how frequently do you nurse at night? While I'm happy to nurse Tiny Boy on his usual 2-hr schedule, it's the CONSTANT sucking that I can't handle. And it also creates a problem in that he drinks so much at night that I can't pump in the morning...and I do need to leave him on occasion! So I guess what I'm saying is I'm happy to nurse at night for FOOD but not just for comfort, and I can tell the difference in terms of how he's sucking...
ReplyDeleteHeidi...yeah, that's Tiny Boy. When my mom visits sometimes we can tag team with the stroller to get a longer nap out of him. I also re-boob, as long as I'm home, but honestly that rarely works anymore. He'll take the boob and then wake up a few minutes later anyway (like, I can get him from 30 to 40 minutes that way, but frequently not more). I'd just like a well-rested kid, you know? Sometimes he's so tired he just wails, sleeps for 30 minutes, and then we start the whole thing over...
I guess I nurse him between 2 and 6 times a night, but he will usually really drink and then stop and turn and continue to sleep. Although a lot of the times I will fall asleep before he's done nursing, so maybe then he will continue to suck longer. I'm pretty surprised that I can sleep through that to be honest, but I guess that's what sleep deprivation does to you ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh and regarding pumping: now I only pump around noon, but until he was 9 months old I would pump at breakfast, 10AM and 2PM. If he had nursed right before breakfast I wouldn't have a lot of milk left, but that didn't really matter because then I would pump a little longer during the other two times. I had lots of supply in the beginning though, so I still have quite a stash in the freezer so I never really have to worry about having enough milk.
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