Last night was good. Tiny Boy only woke three times and went back to sleep after his 5:00 am nursing/bottle. We woke close to 7:00 and I felt almost human until mid=day.
Tonight? The babysitter put him down around 7:30. I nursed him when he woke at 10:00. And 12:00. And it's now past 1:00 and I'm downstairs on the couch listening to him whine/cry. I've given him motrin (I think he's teething) and changed a wet diaper and given him a bottle of water when he asked for it and let him suck on me AGAIN but really I was ready to rip my nipple off. I'm guessing this will go on for another hour at least, and I'll be lucky if I fall back to sleep before about 5:00. No, I'm not being hyperbolic. I was sleeping really deeply and if I get woken up like that and need to stay awake for a while (it's already been an hour) I just DON'T FALL BACK TO SLEEP.
I feel like a cliched broken record here, but I just don't know what to do. I really don't. I'm too tired to sleep train in a systematic let-him-cry-for-hours sort of way.
On a really basic level, I don't know what's wrong.
And I don't fucking understand why the ability TO PUT HIMSELF TO BED ON HIS OWN AT THE BEGINNING OF THE NIGHT AND AT DAYCARE hasn't translated into an ability to put himself BACK TO SLEEP which is what every sleep book seems to say will happen. He wakes up. He stands up. He cries. I can either go to him quickly or not. If it's the latter, both of us get more agitated by the second.
And here we are.
Honestly, this is my biggest challenge as a single parent. Because while my mom is helpful, two or three nights really isn't long enough to change big patterns.
Okay, he's quiet. I'll give him a few more minutes and then sneak back upstairs.
Argh.
Tonight? The babysitter put him down around 7:30. I nursed him when he woke at 10:00. And 12:00. And it's now past 1:00 and I'm downstairs on the couch listening to him whine/cry. I've given him motrin (I think he's teething) and changed a wet diaper and given him a bottle of water when he asked for it and let him suck on me AGAIN but really I was ready to rip my nipple off. I'm guessing this will go on for another hour at least, and I'll be lucky if I fall back to sleep before about 5:00. No, I'm not being hyperbolic. I was sleeping really deeply and if I get woken up like that and need to stay awake for a while (it's already been an hour) I just DON'T FALL BACK TO SLEEP.
I feel like a cliched broken record here, but I just don't know what to do. I really don't. I'm too tired to sleep train in a systematic let-him-cry-for-hours sort of way.
On a really basic level, I don't know what's wrong.
And I don't fucking understand why the ability TO PUT HIMSELF TO BED ON HIS OWN AT THE BEGINNING OF THE NIGHT AND AT DAYCARE hasn't translated into an ability to put himself BACK TO SLEEP which is what every sleep book seems to say will happen. He wakes up. He stands up. He cries. I can either go to him quickly or not. If it's the latter, both of us get more agitated by the second.
And here we are.
Honestly, this is my biggest challenge as a single parent. Because while my mom is helpful, two or three nights really isn't long enough to change big patterns.
Okay, he's quiet. I'll give him a few more minutes and then sneak back upstairs.
Argh.
{{{hugs}}} Wishing you some peaceful rest.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. I have no advice but I feel for you.
ReplyDeleteUgh. Wish this wasn't such a horrible challenge. Sleep dep. is rough when it's just (just!) for the first few months. It's awful when we have a week of bad sleep due to illness or something else that's finite. Having it just drag on like this? All I can say is I'm SO SORRY you're having to deal with this. You're in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry this is so hard. Poor you (and poor Tiny Boy, who is probably overtired). I hope this sorts out soon....
ReplyDeleteThanks, all. Yes, it's brutal...and what's killing me now is the insomnia on top of his night-wakings. And I'm sure Tiny Boy is overtired, too, though he does get probably ~12-13 hrs sleep most days, which is right for his age, just too fractured.
ReplyDeleteI feel like our sons were separated at birth according to their sleep patterns...sub the nursing for three bottles during the night...he's 18 months old and I am TIRED. Praying for sleep for both of our sweet boys...
ReplyDelete