Apparently the last thing I need to do as a writer before MOVING ON from the whole writing about reproduction thing is dealing with the boobs. Working on an alphabetically organized essay--it's good fun. Checked out about twenty books through interlibrary loan, including something that turned out to be someone's PhD diss, which isn't great reading, but the review of lit is helpful. All this is to say I'm thinking about breastfeeding in an intellectual as well as emotional way at the moment. But here's where I spill the venty-I-don't-know-what-to-do stuff.
I didn't really plan on nursing a toddler. I didn't not plan on it either. I didn't really have plans, beyond I knew that I wanted to nurse for the first year if humanly possible. And it was. I went back to work--back to campus, that is--at 14 months, pumped until about 16 mo, and here we are at 18 (how the hell does that happen?!) doing a combo of breastmilk from the tap, formula in bottles and formula in cups. Daycare would like him to be on a cup and while I agree in some ideal sort of way, in a very practical way I just want the kid getting calories DURING THE DAY thank you very much, so if he refuses the cup, well, he wins and gets a bottle as far as I'm concerned. (I should say he's on formula because he doesn't seem to tolerate straight dairy and I see no point in trying soy as I'm allergic and I have huge qualms about soy products in general...and while I might be able to do something like almond milk or enriched rice milk as a calcium supplement, the child DOES NOT EAT AND IS IN THE FIRST PERCENTILE so I'd really like to get as much fat and protein in him as I possibly can. Advice appreciated, as always.)
This is also one of the reasons I've let him continue sucking on me at night, although it is making me crazy. (And this is how I know it's getting time to wean...it's more annoying than it is enjoyable, I'm tired of wearing a nursing bra, and I'm producing hardly any milk [which might have to do with weighing a grand total of 98 pounds again, but who knows])
I go round and round: which feedings to cut first? I'd rather not nurse at night, but if I can't get him eating more during the day, well, he needs calories. It's easier to nurse during the day, it's also easier NOT to nurse during the day, as he's already taking bottles at daycare.
It is absolutely heartbreaking to hear him cry for milk and not have milk to give him. For a while he was quite willing to take a bottle from me--he holds his own bottle, I just hold him--but now he shoves it away. The exception is if he's nursed from both breasts and somehow understands he's not getting anymore from me so if he's thirsty he'd better just take the damn bottle.
So, in short: I'm starving, he's starving, breastfeeding is annoying, the more I want to stop the more he wants to nurse. All in all, a good problem to have, considering I weaned LG before either of us was ready.
Now I need to go eat something again. Talk amongst yourselves.
I didn't really plan on nursing a toddler. I didn't not plan on it either. I didn't really have plans, beyond I knew that I wanted to nurse for the first year if humanly possible. And it was. I went back to work--back to campus, that is--at 14 months, pumped until about 16 mo, and here we are at 18 (how the hell does that happen?!) doing a combo of breastmilk from the tap, formula in bottles and formula in cups. Daycare would like him to be on a cup and while I agree in some ideal sort of way, in a very practical way I just want the kid getting calories DURING THE DAY thank you very much, so if he refuses the cup, well, he wins and gets a bottle as far as I'm concerned. (I should say he's on formula because he doesn't seem to tolerate straight dairy and I see no point in trying soy as I'm allergic and I have huge qualms about soy products in general...and while I might be able to do something like almond milk or enriched rice milk as a calcium supplement, the child DOES NOT EAT AND IS IN THE FIRST PERCENTILE so I'd really like to get as much fat and protein in him as I possibly can. Advice appreciated, as always.)
This is also one of the reasons I've let him continue sucking on me at night, although it is making me crazy. (And this is how I know it's getting time to wean...it's more annoying than it is enjoyable, I'm tired of wearing a nursing bra, and I'm producing hardly any milk [which might have to do with weighing a grand total of 98 pounds again, but who knows])
I go round and round: which feedings to cut first? I'd rather not nurse at night, but if I can't get him eating more during the day, well, he needs calories. It's easier to nurse during the day, it's also easier NOT to nurse during the day, as he's already taking bottles at daycare.
It is absolutely heartbreaking to hear him cry for milk and not have milk to give him. For a while he was quite willing to take a bottle from me--he holds his own bottle, I just hold him--but now he shoves it away. The exception is if he's nursed from both breasts and somehow understands he's not getting anymore from me so if he's thirsty he'd better just take the damn bottle.
So, in short: I'm starving, he's starving, breastfeeding is annoying, the more I want to stop the more he wants to nurse. All in all, a good problem to have, considering I weaned LG before either of us was ready.
Now I need to go eat something again. Talk amongst yourselves.
Oof, it's quite a quandary. And I have no advice, just a sympathetic pat on the back. Do you read Bionic? She's the other internet person I know with SMALL CHILD who doesn't really eat much food, and she recently weaned. Here's a set of posts by category: http://bionicmamas.com/category/nipples/
ReplyDeleteMy friend was trying to wean her 2 year old (her fifth child) and rubbed soot on her nipples!! It worked- she was desperate.
ReplyDeleteTotally commiserate with not wanting to wear a nursing bra any more!
ReplyDeleteOn the needing more calories topic...does he like those squeeze pouches? You can buy ones to fill yourself with higher calorie foods. Coconut milk yogurt with fruit, fruit/veg with some extra oil (canola, coconut...whatever you are comfortable with using), smoothies, etc. Also, gluten free foods are pricey but usually higher calorie because they have to add more fat (and sometimes more sugar) to make them taste good. Not sure if your child would go for any of those items.
These reusable pouches work pretty well and can go in the dishwasher http://tinyurl.com/b4mshkp
Good luck!
And THIS is why I have a blog. MJ, I didn't know those things existed...but he DOES like those squeeze pouches (well, they're in right now, anyway) so if I can think of a better concoction than what I buy, well, awesome. Coconut milk, yes, perhaps...
ReplyDeleteI weaned Carys around 18 months old and she still drinks a bottle at wakeup and one after dinner. She drinks almond milk, (I do half and half the plain and vanilla kinds - the plain kind is very low cal and I too want to get calories and fat in her). I also started adding about an ounce or so of full fat canned coconut milk to each bottle - loaded with fats. A friend who also has a 1 yr old with milk allergy gave me the idea and I thought it was brilliant. I agree with the sentiment of just getting calories down him. I'm pretty sure our kids won't be drinking bottles when they are 10.
ReplyDeleteI really like coconut milk rice pudding - it's pretty easy to make (see for example this recipe by Donna Hay http://www.donnahay.com.au/recipes/coconut-rice-with-stonefruit-and-vanilla-honey) and you can flavour it in quite a few different ways. If you really wanted to up the calories, you could use coconut cream instead of milk I suppose.
ReplyDeleteBut all I've got on the weaning is sympathy. Along with sympathy for the sleep problems too.
(I would comment a lot more, but I mostly read blogs on my ipad or phone while sitting in a darkened room and generally don't get back to my laptop to comment that often.)
I really like coconut milk rice pudding - it's pretty easy to make (see for example this recipe by Donna Hay http://www.donnahay.com.au/recipes/coconut-rice-with-stonefruit-and-vanilla-honey) and you can flavour it in quite a few different ways. If you really wanted to up the calories, you could use coconut cream instead of milk I suppose.
ReplyDeleteBut all I've got on the weaning is sympathy. Along with sympathy for the sleep problems too.
(I would comment a lot more, but I mostly read blogs on my ipad or phone while sitting in a darkened room and generally don't get back to my laptop to comment that often.)
Thanks, zenmoo. I don't like rice pudding myself, but I suspect both kids would love that.
ReplyDeleteClaire, yes, brilliant. Now I'm remembering all the stuff I used to do with LG when she went from Neocate to rice milk (straight canola oil on EVERYTHING, olive paste, etc)
Fudge, just deleted my comment by accident.
ReplyDeleteShort version: Coconut cream! In everything! Can thicken it with rice or rice flour or eggs or all of the above, too. Squooshi pouches have animals on, very cute. There are protein powders from rice, pea, or hemp, which are soy- and dairy-free; I've hidden such things in puddings and muffins and the kids still liked them.
As for weaning, if you truly can't stand it - or even if it just makes you very unhappy!- I'm sure Tiny Boy will figure out eating. Really, he will. And maybe his hunger cues will sort themselves out a little better with solid food? I don't know. (I weaned Tatoe at 17 months because chronic mastitis for 14 months + antibiotics for 14 months + allergy hell + surgery = we are done. He was extremely pitiful, but.... mothers have needs too.)
Oh, hai. Good advice here already, so I will just say that at our last appointment (~25 mo), the Bean had radically jumped up in the percentiles, and his doctor, who has never said anything worrisome about his weight before, was ECSTATIC. KEEP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING! She practically shouted in joy. So...cake every day it is. Basically, we do all of the things the internets say not to do because it will make your child obese. "Unhealthy" foods (within limits, because I am cheap and we shop at a coop, so think yes to sugar and fat and salt but no to Cheetos), tv at dinner, and lots of cake.
ReplyDeleteThat, and aging. I swear most of it is just that his caloric needs have dropped significantly. Those first 18 months were something else, indeed.
As for weaning, we lucked out on that one, but it did involve dropping feedings in the order of his preference, which was the opposite of mine. Eheu. It helps that he loves bottles. His ped would rather he be off them, but they help him sleep, and sleep is SACRED. (Plus, I had a favorite bottle at age five, and Yet I Live.)