Somewhere over the course of the day, I've gone from crabby to teary and sad. I'm sure this didn't work. I'm not sure how much more I can put myself (not to mention LG) through. I'm so fucking tired.
I know, I know...it's way too early to write off the cycle. Usually, I don't get to this point until much later, well into the second half of the 2ww. I'm not sure why, even with the knowledge that there are actual embryos in my body, I've had more faith in cycles when I didn't even know that conception had occurred.
I wish I could just ride it out, wait and see what happens. But if it hasn't worked, and if I'm going to do another one (IUI, not IVF), I need to call Dr. Gorgeous' office and get on Estrace in the next few days.
I just want this whole process to be over.
If it makes you feel any better about being at this point, you're technically in the second half of the TWW in just a day or so. ♥
ReplyDeleteI'm over here, holding on to that squirelly fellow called hope for you.
That P4 is a beyotch, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteIt always helps me to remember that those hormones can be ruthless, especially when we're already so fragile and invested in the process. Plus, it's nice to have something to blame the mood swings on. :-)
The waiting is incredibly hard and there's always so much waiting in this process. Hang in there. Beta day will be here before you know it.
The wait is the worst... We will think positive while you cant... It's okay. We all have these moments.
ReplyDeleteUgh, this whole thing is so full of ups and downs.
ReplyDeleteI am pretty sure that sometimes my pessimism has more to do with protecting my future self than anything else. I think if I don't allow myself to hope, there won't be too far to fall, when it inevitably doesn't work out for me. I think that's especially the case for those of us who have been let down so many times. I know even now, I'm wondering at which point the ball will drop this time.
I'm here with you. I hope we both have positive outcomes for once. I think we are long overdue!