I'm usually fairly accommodating when it comes to my students. They can't make my regularly scheduled office hrs--I figure out a way to swing an appointment at a semi-convenient time (never mind that a fifteen minute meeting really means an hour of there and back and talking).
This week I've had several requests from students (not currently enrolled in my classes) who want to meet to discuss various things. Obviously I told them when my office hrs were, and they graciously agreed to meet then. I just received an email from a student I really like, a student I work with closely, who has taken multiple classes with me, who wants to meet today or tomorrow because there's some paperwork I need to sign and apparently that needs to happen now. I told her I'm out of the office until Monday and could we meet then. Seriously. I like this student a lot. But should I completely reschedule my life because she's going to miss a deadline and she just figured that out? If I do accommodate her, what does that teach her?
I feel like I'm getting old and crotchety but, damn, I need to do my own work today and tomorrow. I need to lounge around in bed in this prometrium haze, take it easy, read and write and get back in the routine of being a productive scholar/writer. But first I have to have lunch.
I think recognizing that there are times saying no is what is in your own best interest is a good thing. You work with her often so she should have addressed whatever she needed ahead of time.
ReplyDeleteDont accomodate. I know it sounds mean, but when I was a grad student I got asked some crazy stuff to meet the last minute needs of my students, and it wasn't until I started saying no that the annoying requests stopped.
ReplyDeleteCan't she fedex or email/ scan to you if it's really urgent?
Another reason to say no, aside from all of the very, very good ones already put forward, is that this student needs to learn that she has to plan ahead. If you cater to her every need, as others have clearly done for most of her life, then she'll never gain that adult skill called "planning".
ReplyDeleteI hate this type of request as these students really have no idea how much they are asking for. Drives me batty, and they seem to forget that there are hundreds and hundreds of them. It isn't like just a little 5 minute thing. When 10% of my class wants something a "little" extra it means days and days of my life... it's harsh, but what are we supposed to do? we aren't paid enough to hand hold that many people... sorry for the rant. You hit a nerve today.
Must be something in the air, because I have the same nerve as In Between. I'm teaching an overload this semester, so with all the students I have, a "little" extra to even a few of them means a ton of time and effort and work.
ReplyDeleteThen when they ask if I'm still having Open Lab today, even though I feel like I'm coming down with strep, I stay all afternoon and not have a single student show up.
I agree that setting boundaries is healthy not just for ourselves, but for the students we are teaching. They learn how things work (like planning and deadlines) not just subject matter and content.
Dammit. I totally get this. I freaking hate it when students can "only" meet during a particular hour on a particular day when I'm trying to grade or have (i'll admit it) "me time" or whatever. And then I always feel guilty b/c it is my job, after all, and I guess normal people are actually in their offices M-F. I'm tormented by this weekly. Then I realize that the students themselves are not making themselves available M-F, so WTF am I worried about? Right? Ugh.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can suggest that your chair sign it? Or if it is truly just a signature, can your admin asst sign in on your behalf? I do that all the time. Yeah.