So I actually did it. After a lot of shuffling things around, I now have an appointment with a "reproductive counselor" next week. Now it occurs to me that I don't really know why I'm going or what I want to get out of it. I should say from the outset that I am "anti-therapy," at least when it comes to me. I bailed on the one therapist I had (as a senior in college) after maybe 2 sessions because it just made me cry, and that really wasn't the point. I was stressed out! I was trying to get into Yale! Nobody understood me! I just broke up with my boyfriend! (Oh, the drama of not-quite-21!)
What I want, really, is not a therapist but unlimited access to Dr. Gorgeous for emotional support which, let's face it, is not really her job. She'd recommended that I see a counselor to work through some of this donor egg stuff, to figure out if I want to do it. I don't need a counselor for that: I don't want to do it. I will never want to do it. But I think I'm ready to do it and deal with my emotional/ethical/whatever issues later.
So talk to me about therapy. How can I make it not a waste of my time?
In the meantime, I see acu #2 tomorrow. And my app't with Dr. Gorgeous has been moved to Nov 16, when she's actually here in my hometown. Maybe I should ask her if we could just meet at a coffee shop instead...
As someone who failed utterly at therapy, the one time I got desperate enough to sign up, I have no advice, save to suggest that you spend time before the appointment writing down a list of everything you'd like to get out of therapy, and bring it to your first appointment. It's something, in retrospect, I think might have helped me to get more out of my therapy.
ReplyDeleteHm. Unfortunately I'm a therapy failure too. I tried it out when I was in college and going through some serious crap (like you), and the therapist was trying to find something wrong with me rather than helping me find better ways to deal with the crap. So as I was starting to seriously consider the therapy route a few months back I was approaching it with the "I need to now talk about all that I'm frustrated about, but find ways to cope with the frustration." Maybe being upfront about that, as Sprogblogger suggests, is a good thing to try.
ReplyDeleteGOOD LUCK!!!
Thanks. I think one of the problems is I'm not in a coping-poorly mode, the way I was about 6 weeks ago. Maybe it's not the right time for me to have the appointment. I'm giving it one session and then I'll reevaluate. What I really need is someone to make a medical decision for me....
ReplyDeleteNo advice as I have been procrastinating on setting up an appointment with a counselor to discuss what we really want to do.
ReplyDeleteHang in there!