I have an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Gorgeous to chat about donating my embryos.
What I thought was going to be fairly simple--I sign some papers and give her legal rights to the embryos and she decides where they go--is turning out to be fairly complex. Apparently she's working with some agencies. Of the Christian sort.
In practical terms what this means is that the contract is full of God talk. About life beginning at conception and all kinds of stuff I find hugely problematic. Culturally, I'm Jewish. Practically speaking, I'm atheist.
Now I don't really want this to become a debate about such BIG MATTERS.
But I guess I'm wondering if I just suck it up and sign the papers because really I'm still doing what I want to do, which is donate to someone who wants desperately to become pregnant.
Or, do I say, well, you know Dr. G, I really do want these embryos to be donated....but I need it to happen a different way.
Yes, what made me think this might be simple?
What I thought was going to be fairly simple--I sign some papers and give her legal rights to the embryos and she decides where they go--is turning out to be fairly complex. Apparently she's working with some agencies. Of the Christian sort.
In practical terms what this means is that the contract is full of God talk. About life beginning at conception and all kinds of stuff I find hugely problematic. Culturally, I'm Jewish. Practically speaking, I'm atheist.
Now I don't really want this to become a debate about such BIG MATTERS.
But I guess I'm wondering if I just suck it up and sign the papers because really I'm still doing what I want to do, which is donate to someone who wants desperately to become pregnant.
Or, do I say, well, you know Dr. G, I really do want these embryos to be donated....but I need it to happen a different way.
Yes, what made me think this might be simple?
Hi Gwinne,
ReplyDeleteDo you have a private email with which I might write you? Or you can write me at kristinabridget@hotmail
I had a question about your recent post.
Thank you,
Kristina
Kristina:
ReplyDeletegwinne at yahoo
Personally, I would not donate my embryos to a Christian agency that treats it like adoption (nor would I recommend that anyone do that). But that's just me. Have you ever taken a peek at Miracles Waiting?
ReplyDeleteAs an atheist I'd have misgivings about donating my embryos to a very Christian organization. I mean, you could do worse, I guess, but...it'd freak me out a little.
ReplyDeleteJen, yes, that's where I'm at in my thinking. I'll check it out.
ReplyDeleteThe Cooper Clinic in New Jersey takes embryos and are gay friendly, single mother by choice friendly, and all those things that a Christian groups are not.
ReplyDeleteAlso those groups will charge around 20 thousand dollars to adopt your embryos. The Cooper Clinic will charge the cost of a FET, around 4, 000..
Please don't work with an group that would not have let you become a mother.
Melissia, above, you said it beautifully! I'm just another voice in support of not sending your embryos off to a family you might not want to have been a part of yourself.
ReplyDeleteWill be interested to hear about the conversation you end up having with Dr. G. In a sense, I feel fortunate that I didn't have any embryos left over to donate; like you, I would have wanted to have good feelings about the process used to place my embryos, even if I ultimately didn't know who the precise recipient was.
Agreeing with everyone else. Especially this: "Please don't work with an group that would not have let you become a mother." With Miracles Waiting you could specify that you'd like to donate to another SMC (to be).
ReplyDeleteYes, Melissia, that's perfectly articulated.
ReplyDeleteWon't be doing it. Still need to think about my options. More later...
g.