Just got off the phone with Nurse of the Everchanging Nickname, who did not actually give me my beta level but said the rise was "not sufficient." Having called the lab myself about 5 minutes ago, I know what we're looking at: 437. Which means my beta has not quite doubled in 4 days. Which means Game Over. I'm not a fool. But since it hasn't actually dropped we're all pretending I'm pregnant.
Still supposed to take estrace/progesterone. Still can't self-medicate with valium or take Ambien.
And Dr. G wants to see me for u/s on Tuesday regardless of what Monday's blood level shows.
I really don't understand how my beta could start off so strong and just not go anywhere.
I can't believe I got pregnant. I can't believe I'm probably losing another baby.
This bites. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDelete{staring at the screen, not knowing what to say}
ReplyDeleteSorry doesn't seem enough. But I am.
Gwinne. I dont get it.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. You have way too much right now.
I am so sorry this news sounds bad. How stupid it looks in print. What can I say?
It is fucking devastating news.
I am so sorry.
God I'm so sorry. There's just nothing to say on top of that. So fucking very very sorry.
ReplyDeleteOh fuck, Gwinne -- I am sorry. There's really nothing else to say aside from that. I'm just really sorry that this is happening.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you have to go through this.
ReplyDeleteGwinne, I am so sorry. I don't know what to say to make you feel better. This is just not f**** fair.
ReplyDeleteHow devastating. I am so very sorry. I agree, it's not fair. Not in the least.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. It sounds like total hell.
ReplyDeleteHow horrible! And then not to be able to self-medicate.... the added stress, loss of sleep... I'm so sorry Gwinne...
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry...
ReplyDeletewasn't it your daughter who recently said something like, "I just need to smash something?" maybe you need to smash something.
hugs
Oh Gwinne... Honey... I'm so sorry. I wish I could reach out and hug you right now.
ReplyDeleteOh Gwinne, I am so sorry about all of this and the worrisome news about your tenure case. You are probably just being used as a pawn in a larger battle at school, but that doesn't help with the stress it causes you. What a terrible time you are going through. Know I am thinking of you.
ReplyDelete