(otherwise titled "Gwinne Is A Freak")
Wanna guess what absolutely fucking stupid thing I did last night? Peed on a stick. Which was so much lighter than that beautiful line I got the day before. And then I started panicking. And then I told myself that I have never heard of a pregnancy that starts with a beta of 81 at 11dpo and ends in a miscarriage a few days later. Get real: that's never even happened to me. For comparison sake, of 4 known pregnancies with betas:
#1: first beta 80ish (14dpo), regular doubling, anembryonic pregnancy, D&C at 11.5 weeks
#2: first beta 188 (13dpo), better than doubling, LG
#3: first beta 17 (12dpo), regular doubling or better until 21dpo, m/c at 6 weeks
#4: first beta 81 (11dpo/6dp5dt), ?????
So I peed on another one this morning and it is lovely. Of course, I'm also telling myself that the original one from a couple days ago was NOT FMU, and this is, so it's not a valid comparison. (Yes, I know, no two sticks are alike, this means nothing until beta, but I think I am going to have A call the hospital and get my lab results directly instead of waiting for Dr. G's office because I am a freak.)
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In other news: the spotting stopped completely, so I think the nurse might have been right about it being related to what Roccie has described as the use of "vaginal cookies" of late. At least I hope so.
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The other thing about early pregnancy for me: I do not sleep. I woke up last night overheated and then I realized my undergraduate neighbors were yelling and partying outside (around midnight), and I decided to call the police to shut them up. Because, dammit, I'm pregnant and I have a sleeping child. But then I was awake for a long time. And when I did sleep I had horrible dreams (bloody, murderous dreams) and then the cats were fighting on top of me and then there was a bug in LG's room (a bug!!!!!!). Insomnia sucks. Insomia plus the prometrium exhaustion really sucks.
But let me tell you, if this works, I will not care one iota. I'm still incredulous. But I'm feeling a lot like a pregnant woman.
Glad the spotting has stopped - yes, "vaginal cookies" will do that to you. And Henry is living testimony to the oft-repeated fact that spotting - even outright bleeding - does not mean a pregnancy is doomed. Sorry for the no-sleep. I'm the same way. I didn't sleep at all while pregnant. in fact, Henry's first few weeks on the outside were like sleeping bliss for me - even breastfeeding every two hours religiously - because I was still sleeping so much more than I had while pregnant
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah. Step away from the pee sticks. They did their work, but you really can't expect them to give you a quantitative answer at this point. Can't wait to hear this number!
The insomnia plus exhaustion is a killer combo for sure.
ReplyDeleteBut most of all - you can't compare morning sticks with evening sticks! I understand the desire, but the levels just won't be the same.
Now stop peeing on sticks. :-p
I can't wait to hear your next numbers. :D
Oh i am so very relived. You know better than to mess with anything other than FMU. But I also know the pull is too great.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who shuts down a party sounds pregnant to me!
Keep posting. We are sitting tight with you ok?
oh my god! I am so behind on blog reading -- this is wonderful news! I am so excited! Super congratulations!
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